Thoughts about life, crap, training and stuff....

Walking Dead Season 2 - One of the best seasons of any TV show I have ever watched.  That was how much I enjoyed it.  Lots of things that make me go "what the fuck?" though..........spoilers below if you haven't seen it and you're one of those "omg don't tell me" assclowns...

• Everyone had to know Shane wanted Rick out of the picture.  I mean, let's get real.  Then they are surprised or "mad" at Rick when he offs Shane in order to save his own life?  Someone HAD to see this coming.  And his wife is mad why?  I'd tell that bitch to get bent.  She's pissed off that I killed a man that had every intention of killing me?  
• Everyone has the virus.  I totally forgot about this from season 1.  Oh yeah, they're mad at Rick about that too.  I guess he should have told then that, but what difference does it make?  Darrell, the only smart guy in the group, is the only one who says anything that makes sense.  "He's does alright by me." in response to the closet lesbian saying they should all get away.  Get away to where, bitch?  
• Herschal's line of "Christ said there would be a Resurrection of the dead......I just thought he had something different in mind." I lost it.  Great line.  
• Semi anti-climatic for a season ender.  But still, the season overall was fantastic.  

My Physical Therapist is coming over this week to check me out.  She thinks I could have a tear, but needs to have me perform some mechanics first.  Either way, I'm doing the meet.  I can squat 550 any day of the week with the flu.  So if worse comes to worse I'll walk in and squat 550 then go for the 450 bench and 700 pull.  I think even with the pain I should be ok for 600.  Just depends on how severe it is.  

So on Saturday night me and the woman went out for St. Patties Day.  We have a spot near the house that has been "our spot" for a long time, but we have not been going out much the last many months and haven't been there.  So you can imagine we were pretty shocked upon arrival at our place, to see that it was no longer "our place".  It had been renamed and somewhat remodeled inside.  All new bar tenders and everything.  We still went inside, because we wanted to find out what happened.  Apparently the manager of the old place decided he was just done.  He closed down a couple of weeks ago and that was that.  We couldn't decide if we were going to stay or not, but we had some friends meeting us there so we hung out for a while.  We were hungry and the bar tender told us the chicken wings were awesome, so we ordered.  And she was right.   Best I've ever had.  And HUGE.  I ended up staying and drinking 9 red velvet cake martinis, which I think might be the best drink I've ever had.  We ended up having a great time, but it's still kind of sad to me because that place carried a lot of awesome memories for us with a lot of different people.  In some ways it almost feels like an old friend passed away.  Maybe I'm just sentimental.  

I have finished up the pre-hab/injury and mass building chapters of the book.  Boy this thing is going to be long, but packed full of about everything my pee brain has to offer and then some (is that possible?).  

After this meet I'm switching gears for a while regardless of the outcome.  I'm not going to write about it now, but I'll just say I have some goals I have had in mind for some time that I've never really gotten after.  I'm going to make it a priority.  

Manning to the Broncos.  Wow.  What an idiot.  If it were really about winning another SB he would have gone, you know, to a team that has a CHANCE at doing that.  The Broncos have no shot. 

I started back up steady state this morning and will be back on it every morning for a while.  With some schedule changes I've not been able to get it in and my weight has slowly been creeping up.  So it's time to keep things in check and make sure I keep the steady state in there.  

Not a ton to add today.  Allergies are already kicking my ass.  I also feel like I need more sleep now that the poundages are getting close to what I call "heavy" for me.  Need to dial in more sleep starting this week.

Training - Squats

Bodyweight - 235  cleaned up the diet again

Squats -
barx20
135x5
225x4
314x3
405x2
455x1,1

Still a lot of pain in my hip.  Was going to stay at 455 and rep, but there is still too much pain in there.

Pause Squats - 365 x 8 sets of 3

Lunges - 2x20

Notes - I didn't want to get stupid today.  The pause squats feel "ok".  I don't feel good technique wise because I'm favoring that leg and hip now.  Since the pause squats feel ok I will probably just stick with those until the meet and let the chips fall where they may.  That's all I can do for now.  It is what it is.

Darksidin'.........obsessions......Part 3 - The Big Empty

Everyone who picks up a weight, and keeps picking up weights, is trying to become something they currently are not.  

Let that sink in for a minute.  Try to grok it.  

To grok - to understand so thoroughly that the observer becomes a part of the observed—to merge, blend, intermarry, lose identity in group experience. It means almost everything that we mean by religion, philosophy, and science—and it means as little to us (because of our Earthling assumptions) as color means to a blind man.

To grok something, is not just to know it, it's to understand it so much that it's part of who you are.  It's part of your soul and your energy.  You understand it as much as anything you will ever understand in your life.  


Let's get back to that, in a bit.


The fun house - 


If you've ever been in a fun house, you know they have all these different kinds of mirrors.  Some make you look short and stocky, or tall and skinny.  Some make you look all squiggly.  


Lots of people who train for a long time, especially bodybuilders and/or fitness competitors, end up living in one of these fun houses when it comes to their own perception of how they look.  


I've got a friend who is 300+ pounds lean at 5'8", and his wife told me they have gone to bodybuilding shows and ask her "am I as big as that guy?".


To which her response was "that guy is 198 pounds."  


I know fitness competitors that OBSESS over the smallest amount of "fat" (skin?) on their ass, or thigh.  Not just at competition time, but year round.  

I need more mass!

Your training life, just like your personal or professional life, is a journey.  Or let me say, it's supposed to be.  People are in such a hurry to arrive at their destination that they never enjoy the trip, or even bother to ask themselves, what happens when or if I arrive at that destination?  


Quit?  


Make a new goal?  


Obsess over fat on their big toe?  


Want another inch on your bicep?  What do you think happens when you add that inch?  Yeah, it's not all you thought it would be is it?  Now, you just need arms another inch bigger.  


People that spend a lot of time trying to develop their body, often don't see themselves as they really are.  They are stuck in the fun house.  Looking into mirrors where they are too fat, or too skinny.  


A few years ago a good friend of mine was in the gym training, and he was the leanest I'd ever seen him.  And the biggest maybe too.  He was getting ready to go on vacation for a week to Virginia Beach and wanted to look good.  


"You look awesome dude." I told him.  


He just kinda "meh'd" me.  


"No seriously, I've never seen you this lean.  You're definitely ready for that vacation."  


But I could tell he didn't think too much of himself at the time.  


Some years later he told me "I was looking back at old pictures the other day, and I pulled up those Beach pics.  I couldn't believe that was me.  I looked like that!  That was the best I ever looked."


"I told you that at the time."  


"I know man." he said "but the thing is, you never enjoy it when you're in it, because you don't see yourself for how you really are."


It was, without a doubt, the most poignant statement I'd ever heard in regards as to how people see themselves in this little sub-culture.  


You don't get to enjoy it while you're in it, because you never see yourself for how you really are.  


Never enough - 


I know all of this because I've lived it.  Well, not the fat on the ass part, that never concerned me that much.  


I remember thinking, when I was younger and around 150 pounds that if I was 175 I'd be a fucking powerhouse!  


"175, that's BIG!"  


When I got to 175, what do you think happened?  I found out that I wasn't Arnold.  I wasn't quite as uber jacked as I thought I'd be.


"205.  If I can get to 205 I will be fucking HYUUUGE!  That's over 200 pounds.  And anything over 2 bills is swole."  


205 came, and went.  And felt very much like 175 did.  


I wasn't impressed with myself.  I wasn't happy.  I was nowhere near as jacked as I thought I'd be.  


Then 225 and 240 came, so forth and so on.  Never happy.  I didn't look like I thought I would look.  I also remember feeling fat and terrible once I cracked 245 for the first time.  I was a bloated hippo carcass.  But not as sexy.  


At one point I was 280.  Fat and miserable.  Now in fairness to me, I got to 280 because the wife wanted me to gain sympathy weight with her, and my love for food put up very little of a fight.  Ok so no fight at all.  In fact that love pushed me with full force right into this exploration.  


I stayed at around 270-280 for a couple of years.  I wasn't strong at that weight either.  I know some think I would be, but my work capacity sucked.  I didn't train very hard really because I wasn't really training for anything in particular.  


I began to hate that fat weight eventually.  And as soon as the wife was ready to start dieting I was all in.  I got back down to 230 or so within a few months.  Felt better, started training harder again, and never desired to get fat again.  


It was also some time between that period and now, that I lost all desire trying to get super massive and huge and all of that.  I'm talking pro-bodybuilder size.  I became very content with who I was, physically.  I just wanted to be strong and in shape.  Thus, one of my mottos.  Be strong, be in shape.  


What happened eventually, is that I ended up looking like what I had wanted to look like, or close to it, without training specifically to look a certain way.  


Or maybe it's just that because I removed that inability to see myself for how I really am, that I realized I looked a certain way.  My guess is, it's the latter.  I quit obsessing over how big my arms or lats were, and just worried about kicking ass in the weight room, in conditioning, and in fighting.  Suddenly, I looked better than ever.  I don't think my body changed all that much really.  I think I moved out of the fun house.


Dark steppin - 


One of the biggest reasons that a lot of young guys use, is because they live in the fun house.  And their mind becomes consumed with becoming something they currently are not.  


The problem is, as I noted before, as they grow or change, they never really see themselves for what they are.  This is why you have 300 pound guys with abs talking about gaining size.  


It's really no different than athletes making 20 million dollars a year talking about feeding their families.  It's absurd to the rest of us, but when you're used to a certain lifestyle, it doesn't feel absurd.  You still gotta buy 10 lambo's AND groceries.  You need those lambo's.  


So you have these kids, or even adults, and they see themselves as weak and small.  And no matter how much their body changes, or how many people tell them how big they are, they never reach the destination.  One of the reasons I believe that is so, is because guys see other guys bigger than they are and then go right back into "I'm small and weak" mode.  


Women do the same thing when they see another chic in fabulous shape.  


"Her ass looks better than mine."  


There's quite a few competitive bodybuilders at the gym I train at, and the biggest of the bunch came up to me one day and told me he knew who I was.  I was flattered, but even more so when he told me he had told his wife he wished he had the mass I did.  I was shocked because to me, this guy was really jacked.  But in talking I learned I outweighed him by 20 pounds, at similar bodyfat levels.  


People involved in fitness, powerlifting, bodybuilding, get in a mindset of comparing themselves to others.  And then they seek out adoration or admiration of others to give them reinforcement that they are "ok".  


This is the mindset that leads most guys to the darkside early.  It's the mindset that causes average gym rats to run pro bodybuilder dosed cycles and do shit they have no business doing.  And eventually their whole life becomes "what cycle can I run next?"  


That's a sad existence.  What kind of journey is that?  What's the destination?  


To get bigger?  


We've covered that.  It will never be enough if you are caught in that fun house.  


To get leaner?  Same.  You'll never see yourself for how you really are.  


To get stronger?  You're always going to be chasing some number.  


For you, and no one else - 


The lesson I learned, that got me over all of these hang ups, was a simple one.  But let's back up.  I didn't learn it.  I grok'd it.  


It's part of my thinking and who I am.  


I don't care if I have the biggest arms or lats or whatever compared to someone else.  If every single soul was wiped off of the face of the Earth tomorrow, I would still lift.  Without a single person to "impress".  I am a "lifer" because I love to train.  Not because I want to impress someone.  


If you can't grok that, you will end up caught in that vicious cycle of never enjoying where you are at.  You must do the things you do, for yourself, and no one else, and you must enjoy the journey.  If you aren't enjoying the journey, then you either have no destination or will never reach a destination.  


When I think of that scenario, I picture someone driving really fast through all of these exciting places.  With tall buildings and amusement parks, hot women waving from the side walk, and big flashing signs.  All the food and drink you could ever want, but you pass it right up.  


The journey.  


Then I see them at the end, in the dessert.  Nothing around for miles and miles.  Blistering heat and a thundering silence.  Their lips are chapped, and skin burnt.  They have a cup in their hand, but it's bone dry.  They thirst so badly for water.  Something they can't have.  


This is their destination.  


A big empty nothing.  

If you aren't doing the things you are doing for the right reasons, then you will end up in that desert.  Bypassing all of the great things you could have experienced during your journey.  


It's ok to want to be something you are not.  We all lift and condition and diet because of that very reason.  But trying to become someone else, or trying to be something else because of someone else or what they think, is a destination full of nothing.  This is the cup from which you drink.  And it will remain empty until you change your destination.  


When I show up in April for my meet, I don't care what anyone else there lifts.  It doesn't matter to me.  I'm there for myself.  To test myself against me.  No one else matters.  If I give it my all, and still don't reach my goals.  I will be happy.  Because giving it my all, is all I can do.  It sounds like dime store psychology, but when you really learn how to grok that, all of the negative associations you have about yourself fade away.  Your fun house gets torn down.  And your dessert is replaced by white sands and an ocean, and hot women bringing you drinks with umbrella's in them.  Your cup is never dry, and you never thirst for anything.  


And that feels good man..............

You think this goat gives a shit about abs and 800 pound deadlifts?

Training - Tugs.....the whole f'n show.

Weight - 240

4" block pulls -
135x5,5
225x3,3
315x3
405x3,3
500x1
550x1
585x1
635x1 ties PR



Speed Pulls - 525x3,3




Elevated Stiff Legs - 405x10



Shrugs (w straps) - 315x40



Notes - Threw in a vid for everything I did.  Just in case anyone wondered, which I'm sure you didn't.

Was tired as hell, so this was good.  Tired as hell is how I generally feel when it's time to pull at the meet.  So being tired and pulling is a good thing.

635 moved easy.  Feeling good about my chances here.

Thoughts about life, crap, training, and stuff

Jesus Christ, this time change has kicked my ass!  I feel like I've been on a 4 day bender.  Tired as fuck and sluggish as hell.  Why don't they just leave it the fuck alone?  I hate the winter change when it gets dark after lunch.  That shit is dumb.  This shit where you can get the party started at 9 P.M. and the sun is still out rocks.

I remember the summer I spent in Oregon, shit it doesn't get dark there in the summer until like 2 in the morning. I'm exaggerating, but it I remember it seeming even later than usual when dusk would hit.

Peyton Manning is a slut.

My leg is infinitely better.  I have been stretching my piriformis every half hour.  I figured a few things out.

My right quad is not firing just right.  Seems to be my vastus medialis.  I know this because I can flex my left one hard, and my right one, well, not so hard.  This was reinforced on the 1 leg leg-extension when I could barely get 15 reps with a weight I was repping easily with my left leg.  But the piriformis is the real culprit here.  So I've been after that puppy with a purpose.

However, I doubt I will squat more than 500 before this meet.  I'm going to go light this coming weekend, then I am going to stick with 500 or so and do 455xAMAP for three weeks in a row.  My goal is to hit 15+.  If I can get to 455x15-20 I feel like 650 will be doable.  It's not the best of plans but anything much over 500 right now gives me tremendous pain.  So I'm going to do what I can in terms of rest and squatting to give myself a good shot at the 650.  I want it really bad, and I'm pretty sure 455x15-20 will put me there.  When I was good for well over 600 I think my best then was 455x12.  455x20 is SURELY 650 for me.  So I'll shoot for 15, which I think is realistic, but if the 20 comes, so be it.  If 455 for reps hurts it, I will figure something else out.  I will be doing some walk outs each week with 650-675 to make sure I have that feeling of heavy weight on my back.

Working hard on the book.  Over 100 pages now.

I received a shirt from professional penis pumper Jim Wendler this week.  Jim needs no god damn plugs or advertisement from me, so this is just a big thanks to J-Dub for being a friend and all the supportive he's given me for several years now.  I also realized after I looked at this pic, how much my back and traps have grown since I had the pic at the top of the blog taken.  In case you haven't been paying attention, the last three+ months were all geared towards trap and back training.  I think it worked.  I'm doing a whole chapter on bodypart specialization in the book.  I have really figured this shit out, I think.  If you have a bodypart that sucks mosquito nuts, I can fix it.

Movies - 

So I've seen quite a few recently.

Drive - Boy o boy.  Someone recommended this to me.  Starts off strong, and man I thought it just did a tailspin once it got going.  Spoilers - So the guy is basically a psychopath it turns out.  Not to mention, the whole quiet, not talking very much thing eventually got annoying.  You never knew if he was going to answer or not.  Leaving the money in a parking lot at the end, I mean, it makes no sense.  He could have at least dropped it off with the girl.  Or taken it.  Anything.  Also, nothing with the race car.  I mean that story went nowhere.  They had so many avenues to take this film into, and didn't really choose any.  There were just a ton of frayed story lines that never went anywhere.

Anyway, I ended up being neutral on it overall.  I didn't hate it nor love, I didn't like it or dislike it.  It was one of those where I was entertained but I thought it really missed the mark at the same time.  Pretty hard to do, so I must say I was impressed.  It felt kinda artsy to me in some ways as well.

Moneyball - I really liked this flick.  You don't need to know much about baseball in order to enjoy it either.  Hell, you don't even need to like baseball in order to enjoy it.  Pitt did a great job in his role, and you have to admire the real Billy Beane for turning down what he did in order to try and build a winner.  That's an honorable thing.

My 5 year old says funnier shit than anyone I know.  The other day she walked into the hallway and stood there for a second, and randomly said "I hate being as tall as dad's butt."  She then walked into the living room and told my 13 year old "hey, that's awesome!" at whatever it was she was doing.  These random phrases come out quite often, and they are always comedy gold.

I'm watching all the episodes of Deadliest Warrior with my kids.  They love this show as much as I do.  See, just because you have girls doesn't mean they have to be all wimpy and shit.  My oldest will start fight training after this meet.

So I've added more real food back into my diet on training days.  I love sweet potatoes but I hate cooking them, and leaving in the fridge all week.  I dunno, they just get kinda nasty.  So what did I do?  Baby food.  It's just sweet potatoes.  $0.70 a jar and I put in a pack of splenda and it's great.  Here is how my diet looks on training days.

7:30 a.m.
Breakfast -
6 egg whites
3 pieces of turkey snausage
1/2 cup of Greek Yogurt (full fat)

9:30 a.m.
2 scoops of protein

11:30 or so
2 turkey burger patties
1-2 jars of baby food sweet potatoes

2:30
2 scoops of protein

5:00
1 scoop of Syntha-6 in coffee (pre workout)

workout - BCAA

postworkout -
FOOD
I do not like shakes post workout.  Food makes me feel better.

10:00 P.M. or so
2 tbs crunchy natural PB
2 scoops of protein powder

On non-training days I just take out the turkey burgers and sweet potatoes and go with a shake.  So basically, my shake diet, with or without MRP I don't care.  I can eat very little and stay at 240 pounds now.  Cardio tends to affect my weight the most.  The more I do, the leaner I get.  I drop it off a little, and I gain weight.  So I'm lucky enough that I don't have to change my diet much year round, just do less cardio to gain and more to get leaner.  That has it's pluses and minuses.  These diets will also be in the book.

I'm not naming the book RELOADED anymore.  I found out Layne Norton used that name, so I'd rather not be gay.

This may piss some people off, but I don't care.  Strong isn't deadlifting 800 with a 380 bench.  Ok?  It's also not benching 500 with a 500 deadlift, or the inability to do 5 chin ups.  If you are a perfectly leveraged mutant for a lift, good for you.  But there are equalizers in the field of strength.  I see so many guys pulling 750-800 now that look like they have never picked up a fucking weight that it's crazy.  Super long monkey arms that limit your natural ROM in the pull doesn't make you strong.  Your sub 400 bench proves that.  Jamie and I talked a little about this in our discussion.  You need to be strong at almost anything.  Not just the powerlifts or specialize in some random shit.  It just annoys me when I see some t-rex barrel chested guy benching 500+ or some monkey armed dufus pulling 800+ when both suck at everything else.  That's not strong.  Jim and I wrote up "what constitutes strong" for a reason.  There are equalizers.  Can you bench, incline, squat, overhead, deadlift, etc all tremendous amounts of weight?  Or are you just leveraged really well for one?  If you are, that's not your fault and you're just taking advantage of your gift.  I just get annoyed at people talking about how strong some guy is that is totally built for 1 lift, and ignore the fact that he sucks total balls in everything else.  I generally don't give a shit about this stuff, but I guess I got my man-period right now.   I never usually give a shit about this stuff.  I think my leg hurting is making me a grumpy bitch.

It was 85 today.  We had a total of 1 1/8 inches of snow ALL WINTER.  The least ever I believe.  The least since I've lived here anyway.  I wore cargo shorts most of all winter.  The only bad thing is, summer is going to be spanked baboon ass brutal.  Not looking forward to that unless I'm in the Caribbean somewhere.

My fight coach and I will be doing a seminar for women's weight training and diet strategies next month.  It will be at the Krav Maga warehouse/studio.  I will have more information on this soon in case anyone in the area would be interested in attending.

Training - Bench

Bodyweight - 243 (always up on Monday after the weekend)

Close Grips -
bar x 40
135 x 10
185 x 5
225 x 4
275 x 3
315 x 2
345 x 1
365 x 1
385 x 3 all paused

Incline - 315 x 10
Upright Rows - 135 x 15
Superset - db curls/db skulls - 35's x 30/30

Notes - Solid 80%er which is good after the total shit squat workout this weekend.

Feeling good about my chances at 450 close grip.  385 still has good speed as a triple with the reps paused.

 

Darksidin’.......obsessions..........PART 2

“I could do that if I took roids too.....”

Ahhhh, the good ol “I’d be that strong if....” statement.  I call this the mating call of the Internet lifting loser.  He’d be world champ if he only used that guys cycle.  

Here is a wake up call to that.  No you fucking wouldn’t.  

No amount of gear will turn you into Stan Efferding or Chuck Vogelphol or Ed Coan or Arnold if you don’t have the genetics, ability to handle that much shit (later in this article) and testicular fortitude to get there or surpass them (and no one is surpassing Coan).  

These kinds of comments are usually muttered by some asshole on youtube “benching” 455, but won’t show up for a meet, and has no squat videos but claims he can squat 625 rock bottom.  

Or by some kid whose entire existence is strife with jealousy and bitterness because he can’t measure up to something he so badly wants to be.  His entire existence revolves around trying to take someone down a few pegs so he can convince himself that he measures up to them in the bizarro world that he lives in.  

You are living in a dream world if you think that you can just run a cycle and all of a sudden be something special.  It doesn’t work that way.  I know lots of guys on big cycles that I am stronger than, that even outweigh me.  This isn’t a put down on them, or me propping myself up.  The message I am getting at here is that you have no idea how you will respond to these drugs, and more times than not, the big picture is, while you do get bigger and stronger, you’re probably not going to become some world beater.  You need a base to start with.  

I liken it to guys who wear multi-ply gear that have no fucking raw strength.  If you can’t squat 400 raw at more than 200 pounds, then you have no god damn business being in multi-ply gear.  None.  And if you can’t squat 400 naturally, then you really have no business thinking about steroids.  A 400 raw squat isn’t a very difficult feat.  I’m not going to apologize if that hurts some delicate sensibilities.  


I'll even go a step further.


A 350 bench and 500 squat and pull is doable by virtually everyone that picks up weights for an extended period of time, that’s over 200 pounds, unless you’re like 6’6” or some shit.  These are good numbers for a raw guy, but they aren’t other worldly.  Put in a decade of solid training.  If you haven’t hit these kinds of numbers by then, maybe take up something else if your primary goal is to be a bad ass strength athlete.  


But if these are your goals, you don't need cycles to hit them. Just the fortitude to be consistent in your training and eating, and it will happen.
Get a therapist...........

If you have put in your time, and paid your dues and decide you’d like to venture to the darkside, you still have one more question to ask yourself.

Why?

If it’s because you compete, that’s fine.  At least that’s something.  Bodybuilder, powerlifter, highland games, whatever.  If you are competing at a strength sport then at least you have a reason is legitimate.  Your competition will be taking something.  You’re putting in your time and money to compete, so why not at least try to be competitive?  

If you have to turn to testosterone because you have legit hormone issues, like low test, then by all means do what you have to do.  

But if it’s to be the “big guy at the gym”?  Get a god damn therapist.  

I know assholes who take massive cycles to just go to bodybuilding shows and walk around so they can say they were the biggest guy in a certain square foot area, or in attendance.  

You don’t need steroids man, you need a massive amounts of psychological help.  

You are such a shell of a man, that you need to take years off of your life (let’s not kid ourselves here), go through tren cough, a swollen prostate, bacne that’d scare a pit bull off a maggot wagon, receding hairloss, tiny balls, nightsweats, anxiety, high blood pressure, elevated LDL’s, gyno, sleep apnea, erectile dysfunction, and all sorts of other shit, just so you can be “the big guy in the crowd”?

And you don’t think you have mental or emotional problems?

Get a fucking clue, Dick Tracy.  

Look, everyone that lifts wants to be something they are not.  Let’s clear that up.  So that no one thinks I’m just throwing people under the bus randomly, or saying I have no flaws.  I want to be bigger, stronger, leaner, etc.  But I’m not willing to do certain things to do that.  Mainly because I would have nothing to benefit from it, other than some warped sense of self satisfaction.  And my personal satisfaction doesn’t come from what I look like.  Could there be a more hollow existence?  I personally don’t know if something else beats that, but I think it’d have to be up there.  

This does not mean I don’t take pride in my appearance, or care how I look.  But I let my training dictate how I look.  My eating dictates how I look.  In other words, my function creates my form.  I train to be strong and be in shape.  This is what ends up creating what I look like.  I don’t train to look a certain way.  If I happen to look awesome, this is a great side effect.  

I’m also not shitting on bodybuilders here, because I admire the dedication it takes to do REAL competitive bodybuilding.  But don’t call yourself a bodybuilder if you don’t compete.  And don’t take bodybuilder cycles if you don’t compete either.  You’re a moron if you do.  Period.

The guy that balks at me writing this literally has no comeback for that either.  

“Who are you to call someone an idiot for training hard and taking gear?”

“Why are you taking gear?”

“To be bigger and stronger!”

“For what?”

“Just because....”

Please go eat a dozen poison dart frogs and please do not mate.  

“Just because” is not a legitimate ground from which to argue.  You’re the reason why sane people call us meatheads.  You have no legitimate reason for what you do other than, “just because”.  

“Just because” is akin to “everything happens for a reason” in that it’s another phrase people use when they don’t have a god damn intelligent answer to give.  

“Just because” is the shit you tell your kids when you have no reason for what you just told them to do.  

“Go clean your room?”

“Why?”

“Just because.”  


"Just because" is the answer a serial killer gives when someone asks him why he killed 47 people in the shed behind his house.  

They say "just because" because they know any reason they give, is ludicrous and absurd and cannot be justified with rational thought.
If you’re running mega-dosed cycles, and not competing in anything, just quit man.  Just get out of the game.  You’re a certified ass clown, and need serious emotional and psychological help.  

On the flip side....

Before I go too far in railing one side of the spectrum, I also want to point out the guys that run huge cycles, that do compete, that talk about how gifted they are, and how “not everyone can do this”, or how not everyone is as genetically gifted as them, or as pro-bodybuilders or whatever.  

Here is a little secret.  

One of the things that separates pro-bodybuilders from everyone else, is their ability to handle doses that most people can’t handle, and can do so for long periods of time.  Some guys will try to say this is a bullshit statement, but it’s been backed by guys that have retired from that sport.  

Those guys are not genetic freaks in the sense that, if they didn’t take shit they would still be huge and ripped.

Get the fuck out of here with that bullshit.  Are you kidding me?  

They always point to Ronnie Coleman and say “Ronnie was natural as a pro, and was 215 ripped”.

Before and after Cell-Tech

This is true.  And Ronnie IS a genetic freak in terms of bodybuilding.  But Dorian Yates was hardly the pinnacle of mass and strength before he picked up a weight.  And you have no idea when he started running shit, so no one can say “well he was natural” blah blah blah, because there is no way to tell.  

What I can tell you is that, the biggest natural bodybuilders in the world aren’t much more than 200 pounds in contest condition.  And again, it’s not like their natural status isn’t in question sometimes.  

If you don’t remember a guy by the name of Frank Sepe, he went from up and coming bodybuilder, to fitness dude.


He went from this........

to this..........

Hardly the epitome of jacked and powerful in the latter pic in comparison to the first.  Yes he still looks great, but there really is no comparison. And what Sepe is in the second pic is attainable by most guys willing to put in the work for a consistent period of time.

If you wanted to take the time to look around and find more examples like this, it wouldn’t be hard.  

People talk about “aesthetics” in bodybuilding and how you can’t train for that, and how you need this and that genetically.  Give me a fucking break.  Jay Cutler wins Mr. Olympia’s looking like a pregnant cow.  So did Ronnie Coleman.  That shit went out the windows YEARS ago.  

If you can handle enough shit, you have a chance at going pro, or at least high level amateur.  Yeah, you still have to train and eat, but 2-3 grams of shit a week all combined, will turn the smallest of shit genetic dudes into a monster eventually.  If he can handle all the sides that come with that much stuff.  And most guys can’t.  And this people, is REALLY the “genetic equalizer” in bodybuilding.  

That and the ability to pay for it all.  I mean you don’t think that some of these guys do “gay for pay” because they just enjoy that shit right?  If you’re taking 25-50 grand worth of shit a year, you’re taking a LOT of shit.  

Even in powerlifting, I know guys that haven’t improved in years.  Who have been lifting the same amount, or in some cases even regressed, over the last many years.  Their solution to these problems are “how much shit can I run in order to get over this hump?”  I don’t get it.  How about change some shit in your god damn training?  Eat better.  You’re already taking enough test for 10 grown men, a lack of hormones isn’t your fucking problem.  And stop telling people what a fucking genetic superman marvel you are since you do take so much shit.  

You should not run so much shit that you can train and eat however you want, and make gains.  Training and diet should still be at the forefront no matter what.  No matter how much shit you take, if you aren’t looking at your training and eating first to fix a problem, then your mindset is completely wrong.  

I read where some guys say “oh I’m getting on a cycle now, so I’m going to change my training.”

Why?  

The whole “you recover so much faster on a cycle” is a mantra that should stop being repeated.  

Muscularly yes, you do.  But systematically rest and recovery are still a factor.  Apply the same training principles you learned as a natural guy to your now enhanced self, and reap the rewards.  

If you got a problem...

“So what would you suggest I do?”

Max out everything you have naturally.  

This isn’t about weight on the bar.  People aren’t getting this.  It’s about learning.  The lessons you learn naturally are worth more than the ones you will learn on gear.  If you stay natural, and you take your squat from 300 to 400, you learned.  If you take it from 400 to 500 you learned.  If you take it from 500 to 600 you learned.  You learned more than if you just hopped on the juice wagon and rode it up there.  

If you need HRT, get on it.  

If you decide you want more, use the least amount to get the most results.  And keep shit simple.

If you don’t want to go the route of illegal use, research the pro-hormone stuff and make an educated decision.  Make sure you take stuff to protect your liver, make sure you keep your cardio up, make sure you eat clean, and do all the things you would do if  you weren’t on a PH.  Also limit the PH use to three weeks.  Some people say four, but my opinion is just three.  I have found that orals tend to taper off after about three weeks.  So you end up using for an extra week with nothing extra to show for it.  

Research PCT (post cycle therapy) and figure out what you should do.  The fact is, just because you ran a low dose PH doesn’t mean you need a god damn PCT.  I swear to god every fucking noob that runs a pro-hormone sweats more over the PCT than anything else.

Above all, be smart.  If you’re doing something and your reason is “just because” and you don’t have a smart reason for doing it, the answer should be simple. Don't. Before you do ANYTHING, take a long time out to do research and think about the different ways it could affect your whole life. Not just the time you spend in the gym.