Tuesday, December 16, 2014

Benefits of lifting for females (that men don't get)

I really hate all these fitness memes.  I really fucking do.

Everytime I see one, I envision a pack of rabid females that just entered the club, high on friendship and drunk on self absorption, brofisting each other after a round of shots.  Like they just scored a touchdown by running over a 250 pound linebacker with 3 seconds left on the clock for the go ahead score.

Women always love these, and I'm not sure why.  Maybe it's an identification thing.

"I lift weights.  So my shit is fantabulous.  High five, fellow lifting chick!"

Then they sort of, high five or brofist each other through the internet by liking the fitness meme.

Usually it's the "what's your excuse?" meme, with some scantily clad female, wearing nothing more than dental floss as workout gear, in some kind of pose that involves as much ass cheek or cleavage as possible, while hoisting a massive 7.5 pound dumbbell.  Grimace included.

No.  Grinding my ass groove into the couch as I type this.

I get it.  Lifting and association with other female lifters makes you feel cool.  Grinding in the gym is awesome, and finding a whole new wardrobe just for gym days is god damn exciting.

But what else does lifting do for women in regards to feeling better about themselves?  Both physically and emotionally.

I have to preface the rest of this by throwing out that, I'm not a woman.  I don't even play one on TV.  So I took the time to research some nifty shit that lifting does for women.  Maybe it does it for men as well, but that doesn't matter.  It's a gender specific article.

Sex life - Well let's not waste any time here, shall we?

Not only do women orgasm harder, and more often after lifting, they apparently can do so WHILE training.  

So that is definitely a benefit women who train have over men.  I mean, maybe a dude could orgasm while training but I don't see how, and I don't want to see how.  Ever.  Not even once.

Anyway, a study showed that women taking antidepressants get more aroused after exercising while watching porn, than women who take pills and watch porn without exercising.


Maybe I'm breaking my arm reaching here, but I would think that the same data would apply to women who don't take antidepressants.

Squat day?

What I want to know is, what kind of porn was it?  Maybe they didn't get the porn right for each women and that skewed the results.  I mean, women tend to like female on female porn quite a bit, even if they don't want to admit it, or let their neighbors and friends know.  They like that shit.

Where was I?

Oh yeah.

Anyway, I think that is a benefit men don't get either.  I am generally not in the mood after a hard training session, but apparently for women it gets them lathered right up.  Two big scores for lifting and sex life for women.  But make sure you watch porn after as well.  You know, for science.

Posture improvement - 

For women whose bra size goes beyond normal cup sizes, and simply has a tag that reads "over the shoulder boulder holder", this is a huge plus.

Losing fat and building a stronger posterior chain means less back pain for women that are sporting boobs that flat out make life uncomfortable.  For them I mean.  I generally don't see support groups for men that are upset over breasts that are too big.  I feel that is a market that doesn't have a dollar signs associated with it.

So for those that are contemplating breast reduction because of such pain, it's possible you can avoid surgery by getting into the gym and getting those traps, rhomboids, lats, and lower back stronger, while shedding some fat to reduce said discomfort.

Now I want to be CLEAR HERE....you can't lose giant boobs because of lifting.  There is no exercise to shrink your boobs.  That will come from a reduction in bodyfat.  However you have to remember, that even if you lose weight, and they shrink, it's likely you do suffer from poor posture because of a lack of strength and muscular development in the back.  So combine both lifting and a reduction in fat to get the desired effect here.

For women who work desk jobs but aren't going to be challenging Dolly any time soon in the boob department, you still probably suffer from poor posture.

When I used to do before and after pics of female clients the one thing that always stood out to me was the overall posture change that happened with them.  They went from being slumped over (some almost hunch back), to standing tall with great posture.

If you're a dude with big tittays, I simply advise dropping the soy, and basically all food type products until those go away.  Oh, you should lift as well.

That big, round, ass - 

So yes, men can get this too.  But let's face it, there is a premium right now on women with great butts.  Maybe I hang in the wrong circles but I don't see such a market for men.  I suppose it exists.  I mean there is literally a market in porn for men who like to watch women pop balloons.  I'm not making that up.  It's real.

I don't care if she lifts.  HNNNNG!!!!

Anyway, this is how the whole "real women have curves" memes started.  The problem that happened there is, chicks who did NOT have curves (you know who you are) thought it was about them.

How do you know if you fit the bill?

Hip to waist ratio.

Lifted from this cheesy, but spot on article.....


Women with a waist-to-hip ratio near .70 have a curvy figure. As ratios climb higher toward .80 and .90 curves become less apparent. For example, men generally have waist-to-hip ratios close to .90. The interesting part about the waist-to-hip ratio is that it works for different-sized bodies. Someone like Beyoncé is heavier than Mila Kunis, Adriana Lima, Jessica Alba, or Megan Fox, but they all conform to the magical .70.

Read that one part?

"The interesting part about the waist-to-hip ratio is that it works for different-sized bodies."

So small women can have curves, and big women can have curves.  But women that go over that .70 ratio do not have curves.  They have fat.  

Great news here!  The same principle that applies to the boob reduction thing can also get you into that .70 "sweet ass" ratio.  Lose some fat + gain some ass = .70 magic.  

So we can effectively kill the whole "real women have curves" bullshit, because tiny women can have curves too.  It's not about size, but about ratio.  

But we can't leave it there.  Once again, I have to make note that there are no exercises to "slim your waist" or make your abs appear.  That happens in the kitchen.  There is no such thing as "spot reduction" i.e. doing a movement for a certain area to make it more slim.  Slim comes from following a proper diet for fat loss.  The ass comes from doing a lot of heavy squats, lunges, 1 legged squats, and glute bridges.  

Also from that article....

Essentially, the researchers wanted to know where men look when checking out a woman.3 To do this, researchers showed men naked images of women in upright poses from the front or back. Importantly, the women represented a range of waist-to-hip ratios. Regardless of pose, the results indicated that men rated women with a .7 waist-to-hip ratio as most attractive. Results also indicated that men paid most attention to women’s midriff and buttocks when the image depicted the woman from the back. When depicted from the front, men focused more on the breasts and then shifted attention to the midriff. Thus, the eye-gaze results demonstrate the important of waist-to-hip ratio, especially when viewing a woman from behind.

 So if you've been scoring low in the dating department, this is a great way to start improving your chances of catching the eye of dude.

Conclusion - 

Easy.  Lift.  Enjoy.  Don't post fitness memes.  Or do.  I don't care so long as you're happy and kicking ass at life, because that's really all that fucking matters.

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  1. I think a lot of my gym bros would admit to being a little homo for Dan Green, who definitely has "dat ass." So maybe there is only a market for men with great butts if the butt is accompanied by a great deadlift.

  2. Any dude who has seen Dan Green lift is a little homo for him....or a god damned liar. Green is crazy strong. And I'm pretty sure a dude can orgasm in the gym; just check the dumbbell rack on arms day. There's bound to be some guys pumping and moaning "oh yeah, that's it".