Saturday, June 19, 2010

Random thoughts about training, life, crap, and stuff

The skinny guys diet - I'm about to go off.....

Wow, talk about people who don't have any reading or training comprehension.  I wrote an article for elitefts recently and there was some backlash from internet super guru web-board training guys/posters about the diet I laid out in it.  Some guy even said I should be nominated for dickhead of the year (because of a diet, yes) and if I had recommended that diet to his son he would have given me a foot enema.  If said guy reads my blog and wants to attempt this I will happily let him have a shot at it.  Said guy also complained about peanut butter (perfectly fine), chocolate milk (possibly the most perfect post-workout drink ever), and corn flakes.  When did corn flakes become "bad for you?"  Said guy seems very much like a training and dietary mental midget.

First off, the article was based around skinny high school guys who bounce around from routine to routine and never eat enough calories to really grow.  Let me set some of you straight on this, I don't know of a single guy with significant muscle mass that didn't go through his rite of passage for eating.  Those rites of passage generally include a hell of a lot of junk food, fast food, carbs and fats of all kind.  It isn't realistic to expect a high school kid to get up in the morning and cook out a dozen egg whites, oatmeal, and pack tupperwear full of food for the day.  If you think it is then you don't have a life and don't expect other people to have one as well.  I want guys I train to get results.  If that means they can only get in cafeteria food in double portions and snickers bars then that's what we'll do.  I would rather a guy eat SOMETHING, than nothing because he can't have brown rice and chicken breasts.

Super stick-skinny guys can take in calories like there is no tomorrow and still not gain weight or muscle mass very fast.  I had a guy eating upwards of 5000 calories a day through peanut butter and jelly and calorie dense snacks and he gained weight very slowly.  It's not realistic to expect someone to sit down and eat 5K calories worth of CLEAN food to gain weight.  If you don't know what 5K calories worth of clean food looks like (which is usually the case) then think about this.

10 chicken breasts (4 ounces each) -
1200 calories

10 large baked potatoes -
1600 calories

20 large egg whites -
340 calories

5 slices of whole wheat toast -
350 calories

Total?  3490 calories.

So for someone like myself, who walks around at a fairly lean 240 pounds, I wouldn't gain a pound on this diet and would be eating all day long.  Worth it?  Hell freaking no.

I never gained any appreciable amount of mass when I ate clean without feeling like complete shit.  EVER.  Can it be done?  Absolutely.  Is it worth it?  Not a chance in hell.  I ate clean for months, pounding down 10 and 12 ounces of chicken and rice at a time, with egg whites and the most plain carboard tasting shit ever.  I hated every minute of it.  My weight barely moved.  As soon as I started throwing in some PBnJ and chocolate chip cookies, my weight started moving (duh).   After I got my conditioning back in order the weight came off, I cleaned up my diet and had several new pounds of mass to show for it.

Let me be clear here, if you are already a big fat ass you CANNOT eat this way.  My article was for SUPER SKINNY GUYS ONLY.  Not guys who are sitting above 12% bodyfat.

Let me also say that I know big fat lard asses who have been on constant bulks for years and have rolls of fat that look like packs of hot dogs taped all over their body.  These are the guys on the boards that tell skinny guys to eat like I talk about, but never have the discipline to get that fat off, and those guys are pathetic as well.  Bulking should be done in BURSTS, not for extended training periods.  What eventually happens when you bulk too long is that your body becomes real good at adding a lot of extra fat onto your frame, and eventually that has to come off (or you die early as a giant fatass).

You can't force feed muscle, so if you're already 12%+ bodyfat you have no reason to be eating big.

People need to learn to read things in a contextual way.  I don't have a problem with criticism.  I have a problem with criticism from people who don't posses enough reading comprehension skills to understand what I write, then talk shit about me concerning it.

/rant over

Friendship - I value friendship.  A lot.  My best friend was killed when I was 13.  Two years later my other best friend was also killed in a car accident.  After that I distanced myself from making close friends with too many people (I guess for their own protection right?).

Friends are people that you can count on no matter what the cause.  That they will stick by you in your lowest points and seem no different during your high ones. A friend will let you know when you offend them, rather than harbor it inside and hold it against you.  A friend also knows when to say "My bad" and apologize.  And a real friend forgives and doesn't bring it up again.  A friend sends your family flowers when they are sick in the hospital, or at minimum sends a card.  A true friend asks if you want to grab a beer after work, or go fishing that weekend.

I guess what I am getting at here is, lots of people you think are your friends are really just an acquaintance.  If you've been "friends" with someone for 10 years and they've never invited you over to their house, well that's not a friend.  That's an asshole.  If they would rather sit in their basement than have a beer with you to shoot the bull, that's not a friend.  As I've gotten older I've come to understand what real friendship means more and more.  And I think you really have your best friends when you're a kid.  Why?  Because life is more simple.  Your buddy will ride his bike with you all day long, go play baseball, go fishing, trade G.I. Joe's with you, and let you check out his sisters bra.  Life is simpler, and friendship is easier to spot.  My buddy Barry Poole broke his femur when we were in 5th grade and was on crutches for the remainder of the year.  I carried his books for him that entire school year for him from class to class.  Shit, now I have trouble getting people that are supposed to be good friends just to come over for a free ribeye and free alcohol.  Mainly because most of the married guys I know are whupped and can't put on their pants without their wife giving it their blessing (more on that in a minute).

And speaking of good friends, I had one come to my aid this week while my wife was in the hospital.  It would have been an even more difficult week without him helping me out.  I already picked up a nice gift to give to him for his kindness.  Why?  Because that's what a friend does.

More war stories -

This week at work I was helping some guys from anther agency move their stuff out of our building.  One of the guys remarked about my size and I told him I did powerlifting.  Of course, he used to as well.

"What were your best lifts?"

"I benched 415, squatted 645, and deadlifted.......a little less than that."

"Yeah?  I don't wear equipment.  No wraps, no belt."

"Oh yeah me too.  Nothing.  What's it called again?"


"That's right yeah I lifted raw."

"What weight class?"


".........................(silence because there is no 205 weight class)"

Dude you are whupped -

What the F is up with guys who let their wife/girlfriend whatever constantly break their foot off in their ass.  What kind of guy lets his girlfriend or wife, turn a movie off he is watching because SHE doesn't like it?  Or makes you watch chic flicks all the time?  Won't let you play the kind of music you like in the car, tells you who you can and can't hang out with, where you need to be at what time, what you need to be doing, on and on and on and on.  Dude, grow a F'n pair you spineless wimp.

I have a buddy who only comes by when his wife is out of town.  He'll call me up "hey man I was wondering if we could hang out?"  My question is always the same...."So your female is out of town isn't she?"  And the answer is always yes.  To me, this tells me that she cracks the whip on his ass and he lets her.  I don't get this.

A good spouse or partner should understand that you are an individual, and like to do things without them, like things they don't like, and don't need a mother chicken pecking over them all the time telling them what to do.  And second, you as a man shouldn't allow this shit.  And don't say "I think it's not whipped, I think it's being a good husband/boyfriend."  You are full of cowshit.  Shit man if you're going to be whupped just come to terms with it.  It makes life easier for those around you because then they can just bypass you and ask your wife/girlfriend if you can come out and play and then she can let you know that it's alright.  She can also let you know if it's ok for you to wear your junk/manhood when you go out to play as well.

Short and bitter this time.  I guess the stress of the past week is manifesting itself in my post.

I wish all the dads out there a happy fathers day.


  1. This is one of your best yet. It seems that people have trouble comprehending that everyone's dietary needs aren't the same. I've yet to see anyone get really big and strong while eating super-clean and maintaining sub-8% BF. At least not without a crapload of drugs. On the other hand, you don't have to be a big fat sack of crap either. Seems like many can't comprehend there is some middle ground. I've recently lost over 25 lbs. and I used the highly complicated method of eating less while trying to keep my protein intake up. I probably ate a bunch of stuff you're "not supposed to" according to some of the guru's out there, but I seem to have survived somehow. I also read your article at elitefts and realized it didn't apply to me (which apparently makes me smarter than a large number of those who read your article).

    I've also been on the wrong end of the over-possessive woman and it was awful. Those guys who are whipped don't know what they are missing with a good, reasonable woman.


  2. Amen on the good woman thing Sean. I got one and she allows me to be who I am, and loves me for that. The last thing she'd want is to tell me what to do. Generally the guys I know that are whupped like that aren't very manly men.

  3. Once again great stuff Paul. Don't listen to the e-warriors, I've been there and done that with the 100% strict eating and feeling horrible about myself for eating the white bread roll and my progress showed it. PB&J forever!

  4. Well I think strict eating def has a place for sure. If a guy is a walking pack of hotdogs he needs to get his priorities straight. But skinny guys will always struggle to gain mass and bodyweight if they adhere to a super clean diet because it's too difficult to get enough calories in.

  5. I dig these random thought posts.

    I feel exactly the same way as you in regards to friends. I would literally give an internal organ to any of my 4 close friends. Not to mention help them move, hide a corpse, or whatever they need. I feel this way because I know they would do the same for me. They are family to me.

  6. Yup. That's how friendship is supposed to be Justin.