Thursday, August 15, 2013

I have no idea what to call this post

Have you ever noticed that if you added up all the muscle mass from these dudes that work for supplement companies, that they'd be like 547 pounds at -3% bodyfat by now?

Everytime they undergo one of these transformations they put on 28 pounds of lean mass and lose 34 pounds of fat. They do this every time a new supplement is released of course. And total credit goes to said supplement.  That or it's the fancy new weight training protocol they used that was not privy to public eye before.  It was just released by (insert Eastern Bloc country here) and you're going to get a good look at it....for $54.  

It's always produced 9,879 champions (nevermind that there is never a real name thrown in there) that have 102,223,238,345,203 world records.  You too can be a champion, if you follow this protocol.  For $54.  Just FIFTY FOUR DOLLARS!  You don't want to be a champion?  Then pass this opportunity up.  

You ever notice they put the onus on you?  That you're a lazy fucker because you "don't want to be a champion.  So turn that page, asshole, and continue being mediocre.  The secret to your dreams are right there, and you're too god damn cheap to pay $54 for it.  You sicken me.  You're a disgrace to anyone that has ever picked up a barbell.  If Jack LaLane were here he'd kick you in the nuts from behind and make you suck his wrinkled junk until asphyxiation set in!"  

Also, I like how people were on this supplement for months and months before it was ever released from the factory. Also undergoing massive transformations.  

There's always these write ins boasting about how they used said secret protein powder/Russian spy program for the last 3 months to shed 47 pounds of bodyfat while gaining 47 pounds of muscle.  

I personally think that these types of ads and disingenuous advertising is one of the main reasons that so many young dudes get unrealistic expectations, and then become very disgruntled about their progress, or abilities.

I can remember being young and impressionable.  During times when training and progress was in a funk, I'd run out and buy up all the muscle rags on the shelves.  Those shiny pages in the muscle rags showing incredible before and after pics made me feel like if I could just get my hands on that new supplement, my worries would be over.  I'd make some fuckin progress!  Some gainzzzz........

And you know what?  I would.  

Placebo and enthusiasm are a hell of a drug.  

I don't know if the young and/or noob lifters of today realize how good they have it with the internet at their disposal.  Bogus claims get snuffed out pretty fast, although I will say it still does happen.  However generally the people making these claims end up just becoming a punchline across the information highway faster than George Zimmerman got painted as a racist by the media.  

If you really BELIEVE that something will work, it will.  At least for a little while.  This is why I've often written that your "buy in" to a program is the most important part.  It doesn't mean that you've always bought in to a shitty program (though that does happen), but lots of guys stuck in a training rut will make progress on even shit programs if they BELIEVE they will.  

However there is still enough of this bullshit going around that it fuels the minds of young lifters that they can and will achieve greatness in a very short period of time.  Training is not and never has been an instant gratification endeavor.  There are too many bricks to be laid, and too many mistakes to be made before you will understand what it requires to move up another rung on your personal training ladder.  

Generally what that requires is this new protein powder from that 547 pound ripped Russian guy........


  1. Not sure why t-bag nation/biotest immediately popped into mind about one sentence into this....

  2. Jeez you're a cynic Paul Carter...

  3. It's slow, depending on what you consider slow.

    Sometimes, the best medicine is to stop, look at your logs/notes, and check where you where at 6 months ago.. a year.. etc..

    I've been doing this for a short couple of years, and I swear every once in a while, checking those older logs/notes, puts things into perspective.

    Looking backwards makes things feel like they are moving much faster than they really are.

    Well.. for the most part at least.

  4. You should read Muscle, Smoke and Mirrors if you haven't done so already.

  5. You mean that the New Super Mega Secret Belorussian Bench Blast WON'T put 100lbs on my bench in 30 minutes (while supplementing with Baltic Bull Testicle Powder)? I'm so disillusioned.