Thursday, January 20, 2011

Be a real man and own it

I'm going to touch on one topic today, and it's a sensitive one.  But I am fucking appalled at this story.

This piece of shit asshole is responsible for killing 7 babies and making millions of dollars for years doing this kind of shit.  I hope this asshole that killed these helpless children gets ass raped for 10 hours a day in his fucking cell while having his head shoved in a shit filled toilet.

This is one of those days when I feel disgusted that this is the world I live in.  Where people fight over a politician getting shot, but support the slaughter of babies on a daily basis.

Fuck you.

I raised my niece when I was 17 years old until I was 20 and my parents adopted her.  Abandoned by her mother, my sister, because of drug addiction.  I love her like my own.  Taking care of the innocent and helpless is what a real man does.  Period.

So I don't give a pass to people who say "well I was young a stupid" because I was young and stupid, and knew the right thing to do was to raise my niece.

So I am going to rant a bit about us as males.

First off, don't have sex with a girl unless you're willing to raise a child.  That's right asshole.  Everytime you have sex you take the chance of getting that woman pregnant.  And if you do, man the fuck up and be a father.  Being a father is one of the greatest joys of living life.  Shunning that responsibility, abandoning that responsibility, or trying to talk that woman into an abortion makes you lower than dog shit and a fucking coward.  Period.  Guys talk about alpha male bullshit and how they run around banging women left and right, and what an alpha male that makes them.  Fuck you.

If you do get her pregnant and you don't marry her you still man the fuck up and take her to her doctors appointments.  Be there for the birth, and pour every ounce of manhood that you have into being the best father you can be.

A real man feeds his family, a real man takes care of his kids, a real man protects and provides.  Banging chics and being a self centered asshole just puts in you there with the rest of the do nothing douche bags of the world.  Guys like that are a dime a dozen and will leave no legacy behind worth remembering.

Most of our problems as a society are related to people not wanting to be responsible.  People almost always have a built in excuse for their fuck ups, rather than wanting to OWN IT.  A real man OWNS his problems, his fuck ups, his responsibilities.  A real man does not shun them, or run from them.  We all are going to make mistakes, some of them colossal.  But a pregnancy is not a mistake.  Giving up bars and drinking and chasing women to leave behind a legacy of being a good father is not a mistake.  That's what a real man does.

Any man that runs from the responsibility of raising a child that THEY helped create is a fucking coward.  And I'd gladly discuss or take that up with him fist to fucking mouth if he takes offense to that.

Yes I'm hot right now.

These kinds of stories should never be told because they should never happen.  They should never happen because men should be real men and own this shit.


That's the hand of a baby that reached out of the womb at 24 weeks.  Babies are born at 24 weeks every year and live.  I do not have a line in terms of weeks as to determine when someone can be declared a human, and who the fuck things they are so powerful that they can?


Doctors kill more people every year than guns.

I'm not going to go too far off on an anti-abortion rant because I doubt we will ever see abortion done away with.  Too many assholes scream about mythical back alley abortions will keep that from happening, and for the most part I admit I am simplifying the issue.  But it doesn't change my rant.

Abortion clinics would go out of business if every man owned up to his responsibilities.  And the world would improve 10 fold.

Real men OWN IT.  Cowards skirt the issue and run from responsibility.

Be a real man.

Rick Hoyt is a real man.........story below with video........

I try to be a good father. Give my kids mulligans. Work nights to pay For their text messaging. Take them to swimsuit shoots.
But compared with Dick Hoyt, I suck.
Eighty-five times he's pushed his disabled son, Rick, 26.2 miles in Marathons. Eight times he's not only pushed him 26.2 miles in a Wheelchair but also towed him 2.4 miles in a dinghy while swimming and Pedaled him 112 miles in a seat on the handlebars--all in the same day.
Dick's also pulled him cross-country skiing, taken him on his back Mountain climbing and once hauled him across the U.S. On a bike. Makes Taking your son bowling look a little lame, right?
And what has Rick done for his father? Not much--except save his life.
This love story began in Winchester , Mass. , 43 years ago, when Rick Was strangled by the umbilical cord during birth, leaving him Brain-damaged and unable to control his limbs.
"He'll be a vegetable the rest of his life;'' Dick says doctors told him And his wife, Judy, when Rick was nine months old. ``Put him in an Institution.''
But the Hoyts weren't buying it. They noticed the way Rick's eyes Followed them around the room. When Rick was 11 they took him to the Engineering department at Tufts University and asked if there was Anything to help the boy communicate. ``No way,'' Dick says he was told. ``There's nothing going on in his brain.''
"Tell him a joke,'' Dick countered. They did. Rick laughed. Turns out a Lot was going on in his brain. Rigged up with a computer that allowed Him to control the cursor by touching a switch with the side of his Head, Rick was finally able to communicate. First words? ``Go Bruins!'' And after a high school classmate was paralyzed in an accident and the School organized a charity run for him, Rick pecked out, ``Dad, I want To do that.''
Yeah, right. How was Dick, a self-described ``porker'' who never ran More than a mile at a time, going to push his son five miles? Still, he Tried. ``Then it was me who was handicapped,'' Dick says. ``I was sore For two weeks.''
That day changed Rick's life. ``Dad,'' he typed, ``when we were running, It felt like I wasn't disabled anymore!''
And that sentence changed Dick's life. He became obsessed with giving Rick that feeling as often as he could. He got into such hard-belly Shape that he and Rick were ready to try the 1979 Boston Marathon.
``No way,'' Dick was told by a race official. The Hoyts weren't quite a Single runner, and they weren't quite a wheelchair competitor. For a few Years Dick and Rick just joined the massive field and ran anyway, then They found a way to get into the race Officially: In 1983 they ran another marathon so fast they made the Qualifying time for Boston the following year.
Then somebody said, ``Hey, Dick, why not a triathlon?''
How's a guy who never learned to swim and hadn't ridden a bike since he Was six going to haul his 110-pound kid through a triathlon? Still, Dick Tried.
Now they've done 212 triathlons, including four grueling 15-hour Ironmans in Hawaii . It must be a buzzkill to be a 25-year-old stud Getting passed by an old guy towing a grown man in a dinghy, don't you Think?
Hey, Dick, why not see how you'd do on your own? ``No way,'' he says. Dick does it purely for ``the awesome feeling'' he gets seeing Rick with A cantaloupe smile as they run, swim and ride together.
This year, at ages 65 and 43, Dick and Rick finished their 24th Boston Marathon, in 5,083rd place out of more than 20,000 starters. Their best Time? Two hours, 40 minutes in 1992--only 35 minutes off the world Record, which, in case you don't keep track of these things, happens to Be held by a guy who was not pushing another man in a wheelchair at the Time.
``No question about it,'' Rick types. ``My dad is the Father of the Century.''
And Dick got something else out of all this too. Two years ago he had a Mild heart attack during a race. Doctors found that one of his arteries Was 95% clogged. ``If you hadn't been in such great shape,'' One doctor told him, ``you probably would've died 15 years ago.'' So, in a way, Dick and Rick saved each other's life.
Rick, who has his own apartment (he gets home care) and works in Boston, and Dick, retired from the military and living in Holland, Mass. , always find ways to be together. They give speeches around the country and compete in some backbreaking race every weekend, including this Father's Day.
That night, Rick will buy his dad dinner, but the thing he really wants to give him is a gift he can never buy.
``The thing I'd most like,'' Rick types, ``is that my dad sit in the chair and I push him once.''


  1. There may not be many people that have ever existed who are more of a man that Rick. I am not sure why, but that story made me cry. (While I am sitting in my cube "working")

    Thanks for sharing.

  2. irresponsible men love abortion. my wife and i are about to have our fourth little miracle next month. i can't imagine what would make a person kill their own child. we don't have lots of money. i won't be able to provide my wife and kids with everything i want them to have, and it's really hard. but we have love. we have each other, and that's enough. heck, my second kid was born with a severe cleft lip and palate, and you know what? as horrible as that has been to deal with, i thank God that not only was she born, but that she was born that way. she is our lillium inter spinas and we love her. all of our kids have problems of some kind. we do what we have to, and that is good enough for us. there is NO reason to kill a baby. NONE. EVERYONE is created for a reason. even babies born out of rape or incest. God has a purpose for EVERY ONE of us. HOW DARE anyone presume to know better.
    (lillium inter spinas = the lily among the thorns)you're right paul, a real man owns it. i couldn't have said it better.

  3. Congrats on the 4th Adam. We would have had more but my wife had to have a hip replacement and I wanted her to be as well off as possible so the one we went with doesn't play well with having babies.

    Matt - Real men know that crying is part of being human. I cry when I watch that too.

  4. Man, it was hard reading through the story about Rick and Dick. Yeah, I'm tearing up over here "working" in my cube, too. The pic of the 24wk old is all the more meaningful, too. My 4mo old daughter was holding my finger just this morning. I'd have never thought that being a father could be so rewarding - a smile from her when I get home makes my whole day. She kicks and giggles. I couldn't ask for a better gift than a child.

  5. Stories like that inspire some fucking wicked evil medieval shit wished on those monsters. I can't understand how anyone could condone such things, 30 years? seriously? makes me sick.

    I'm thankful for my amazing mother whom brought me into this world and raised me because my father didn't have the balls to own it. I know many aren't as lucky. I have no pity for any man who shirks the responsibility for the life he brings into this world. There is no excuse.

    I heard about Dick and Ricks story for the first time this summer while at a seminar. God does their story hit hard, there was alot of red eyes in the room after watching that vid for the first time mine included. I pray for the strength if ever tested on that level.

  6. I agree with everything Paul, but I am somewhat dumbfounded concerning the "not having sex unless you want to get someone pregnant".

    I for one am not yet planning to have kids as I feel I am too concerned with other things(studies, my ageing parents, work)to feel I have the time to be a responsible father.
    Nor have I yet found a woman with whom I actually want to raise children with.

    Does this mean you actually advise not having sex at all until marriage?

    I do of course understand your point of not being so stupid as to cause an unwanted pregnancy. You will absolutely hear no argument from me there.

    But I do believe love and lust can exist separately. What I mean is: in my opinion, if two people are interested in each other, intelligent and responsible, but have no interest to pursue a marriage(with each other or in general), why shouldn't they have sex?

    I apologize if I offend your religion beliefs with this, as I am European and understand the American faith in general adheres to more strict rules than the faith in most of Europe.
    As I am apparently the first to speak of this in this thread I assume it is culturally related.

    But I do want to hear how you see this, if this is from a religious viewpoint or for a different reason. I also have to note that I am not offended by any of this, but merely interested and respect all opinions.

  7. I am not religious per say Bert. I believe that faith and religion are very separate issues.

    My point is, if you have sex and get a woman pregnant then do the right thing and be a father to that kid. Lots of people go to school, work, and still raise kids.

    No excuses. Own the issues you create for yourself.

  8. Good post man. I find it interesting that the state regulators don't get in any trouble though. I think the whole time limitation thing is bogus and they don't want to take responsibility for something they could have prevented. This happened over many years and they were given complaints.

    This kind of stuff should not be happening in what I guess is considered a "first world" country, however you choose to define that. The details in this case were chilling to read, to say the least

  9. I am a teacher and see this shit 24/7. Its the world we live in, bullshit. I see so many parents who hit the bars and leave their kids at home. That pisses me off. Then the parents want to know why I am so hard on them and their kids, hmm I wonder?

    Thank God that my Dad helped to set me straight. HE had a bullshit childhood with a father and mother who didn't want him, called him a mistake, but he manned up, kicked my ass and started his legacy of a good father and a great man.

  10. FA - Damn right. This happened in PA. Not in Chad or Nigeria. I think Americans pride often gets in the way of thinking this shit can't happen right their own backyard.

    David - Good for you, and good for your dad.

  11. Saw this on the news today at work and was sickened. As a father of 4 awesome kids ages 7, 4, and 2 that are 9 months, this hits me hard. Also, as someone who works behind the walls, I know that there is a good chance that he is going to get his what is due to him once he gets locked up.

    You are exactl right Paul: unless you are ready to be a dad, either dont have sex, or take every precaution you can. If it still happens, man up and be a dad. We lose our sons and daughters on an hourly basis in the US to drugs, violence, prison, etc. and that starts at home. Be a DAD. It is a tough ass job, but worth every second of it!

    Our twins came early, 34 weeks, and spent 2 weeks in the NICU. While we were there, we witnessed many babies come in at 20 weeks in bad shape that pulled through. Ours were small and had to have help breathing, but they knew mom and dad right away and we spent 15 hours for 14 straight days at the hospital. That is what responsible parents do. There was a baby beside us whose mom and dad NEVER showed up. We felt so bad for him, we wanted to take him out and rock him and love him. By the time our boys were ready to go home we were able to run the machines, the incubator, hook up their leads etc...we were 100% hands on while many babies never even got to see their (mostly) teenaged moms. Made me sick.

    As far as abortion goes, the sad fact is many women use it as birth control. This is just another reason why we are going to SHIT as a society and why the zombie take over HAS to happen!

    My wife and I are not completely against abortion. I know the sick, disgusting people who are locked up and who still walk amoung us. As a father to a beautiful little blonde girl, I can say if she was ever raped and became pregnant, we would terminate it. There is no way she could carry a baby to term, love it, and no way we as grandparents could love it, if it came from violence, disgust, hate, rage, pain, etc. I fully support a rape victims right to abort 100%.

    Solid post Paul. Way to get the wheels turning on an important topic!

  12. Re: the rape issue Rick. I used to struggle with that one. Until I heard a girl give a speech that she wanted to thank her biological mom for not aborting her.

    She was conceived via rape. But her mom carried her to full term, and gave her up for adoption, where she had lived a wonderful life with great parents and recently got engaged.

    That cemented my belief in that outside of saving the mothers life there is never a need for abortion.

  13. Understood.

    But then you have to think of it this way:

    Your house is broke into while you are gone. You come home to find your wife badly beaten, cut to ribbons, tourtured, and raped repeatedly by the intruders. Yes plural.

    You then find out she is pregnant.

    Would you want her to carry this child, birth it, and raise it as your own?

    Myself? No way. Then I would spend the rest of my living years hunting down and slowly eliminating the scum who did his.

    Where I work, there are men guilty of such crimes.

    Or how about the 12 year old whose scum of the earth grandfather or father raped her and impregnated her?

    These are hard subjects to discuss, but are things that happen all the time all over the world...

  14. I think this is probably my favorite blog by you. It is what my generation needs to here.

    Good post on the rape issue as well.

    I frequently think of the amazing men of our country and what they would think of the useless/apathetic male generation that I am sadly apart of. I wish Teddy Roosevelt could come back and kick all our asses.

  15. I disagree with you on the abortion issue, but I'm with you on "owning it."

    I had to do it when I was 19.

  16. Rick brought an interesting perspective into the discussion there, and there are others. Abortion can provide an option, depending on the circumstances, and this comes down to your own beliefs and values. There's obviously some good guys post here, with strong values,but people are different and I'm with Rick on this one.

  17. Well the main purpose of my owning it, was more about manning up to the situations you have created, but I dealt with abortion as the vehicle of the topic.

    With that said, I don't agree at all. For a lot of reasons.

    First off, I've already given an example of a woman who carried full term, then gave the baby up for adoption and there are TONS of stories like this.

    I am a full believer in that two wrongs don't make a right. Sucking the brains out of a baby that was brought into this world via a violent act doesn't erase the traumatic event. It simply creates another one for the woman to deal with.

    It's not the child's choice as to how he/she was conceived. And now, along with the mother becomes ANOTHER victim of the crime. I just can't support this.

    So I guess my question back is, if you adopted a child and found out that it was conceived via rape, would you have a problem raising that child? No? Then if, God forbid, your loved one was raped why would you have a problem raising that child? OR at minimum giving it up for adoption? To me, NOT having the brains sucked out a baby seems like a pretty easy decision no matter the circumstances. There is always a better way.

    This would be a difficult situation for anyone to be in obviously. But I know for myself personally and my wife, abortion would not be on the table as an option. We would either raise the child or give it up for adoption. I love kids, and the kid has no choice as to how he or she got here. I'm not about the be the grim reaper to a child simply because they were the outcome of a horrible act of another person.

    Thanks for the input gentlemen.

  18. In Closing -

    I have a lot of comments about this however I don't want this discussion to turn into a pro-choice vs pro-life argument because it never ends.

    Again, abortion was the vehicle for what I was trying to say here. And that is OWN your responsibilities. Don't skirt the issues, don't run from responsibility. Own your issues and your problems. Especially if you are the one that created them.

    Thank you gentlemen for all of your input!

  19. Thank you for writing that story Paul! It is excellent. I have one stepdaughter at home and it is time for me to up my game even more to show her that not all men are assholes in the world!!

  20. Darn right. If you are the model for her to know what a real man is like the better chance she will pick well.