Saturday, March 5, 2011

Thoughts about life, crap, training, and stuff

I'm salty this morning so get ready..........

Whether you are a kid or adult, if you sit at the table and eat cereal in the morning,  you're going to read the box.

Apparently the Captain has a lot of information I need during breakfast

We also pull the Chiquita banana sticker off that banana and slap it right on our forehead.  Why the fuck do we do this?

Right on your forehead

I am hard at work on writing my program "Philosophy of Training" which will cover all of my beliefs about training for mass, and a couple of programs to choose from that I have used personally to gain mass.  I HOPE to get it out by Monday, but if I don't just give me a few more days.  If I am going to charge any amount for these programs I want them to be of good quality.  And by quality I mean the information contained within, and the layout.

I have realized in writing these programs, that sometimes your beliefs don't always reflect your current training strategy.  This is usually because of other goals, injuries, or "cruising".  In other words, when I am healthy and really focused on mass building my most ideal split is an A/B where I squat and pull (or a variation) twice one week, once the next, and the same with pressing.  However I have been beat up for a while now, and have used a split that focuses more on recovery.  My squat/deadlift - bench - back/biceps split.  This is one of the splits in my program and one I completely believe in.  Which is also part of how well whatever you are doing is going to work.

 I am very focused in the gym, and "intense" but I don't act like a retarded monkey on crack before, during, and after my sets.  I do a lot of concentrating.  If you watch guys like Coan you can see they don't waste energy acting like a dufus before, during, or after the set.  It's all focus.  Some people have pointed me to Benni goes crazy, however he saves his little dance for when he's pulling a single max attempt in a meet, or testing for a new max.  In the gym, he's focused and relaxed.  Very focused.  I have found that guys who act like they are saving the fucking world by screaming and stomping around during a gym session are generally egotistical fucktards with a "look at me" complex.  Without fail.  These are also the same guys that will tell you they are capable of far more than anything they have ever approached.  "My goal for this year is to total 3900 raw.  My previous best total is 1700."  Go die in an aids tree, douchebag and spare everyone your "greatness".  Please don't be this guy.  I don't give a damn what you lift.

Benni is FOCUSED, not acting like a monkey on crack.......

Michael Bisping is another guy you can add to the complete assclown list.  Look, guys are going to hype fights and try to do things to get under your skin.  This is not new, nor considered out of bounds.  But spitting on a coach after a fight is disgraceful.  Bisping is a second tier fighter who hasn't beaten anyone worth mentioning and he often acts like he's GSP.  He can join the talking and screaming before, during, after a lift guy from the gym in that aids tree and drink antifreeze.

My fave pic of Bisping

Football lockout?  Who cares man.  Every year the NFL makes me less interested.  Guys making millions and even billions in this economy, and it's not enough.  The greed that flows a "business" like this is disgusting to me.  Enough said.

Don't you love it when you get resolution or closure for something, and can finally let it go?  Random thought, but pertinent in my life right now.  Feels good man.....


Ever notice when someone loses their spouse, GF, BF whatever, that their lifestyle changes?  I know that sounds obvious, but I have known so many people that once they are single they start exercising, losing weight, trying to look better, etc.  Uh, why the fuck didn't you do this when you had someone?  Maybe you wouldn't be out looking again if you had actually taken care of your nasty self when you had someone.  And what happens when they do meet someone?  They become so enamored with them, that they stop doing everything they were doing in order to attract them.  How does this make any sense?  Make room up in that aids tree please!

Ok so the "sumo deadlifting is disgusting" mantra is starting to catch on.  I'm seeing it more and more.  Better starting working on that conventional stance boys!  Oh and let me add, since I want to be fair, that guys pulling conventional with straps are disgusting too.  Unless you are a competitive strongman you have no reason to be using straps for your deadlifts.  If I had the finger length to pull hook I wouldn't even own a pair but I need em for shrugs.  Yes, that's me using retarded justification for having straps, however there is no official shrug lift in powerlifting.

Want to know the evolution of training programs and ideas that get popular on the internet?

Idea comes out

Finds popularity because of X reason

People discuss and debate it

Someone finds a "flaw" in it and "discredits" its

People who are in the camp of the program scream out progress/weights achieved/warriors slain and women banged using said program

Swords are drawn

Message board intarweb wars ensue and guys who are in the anti-program camp are "idiotic haters" and the people who in the pro-program camp are "nut huggers"

Isn't this just human nature though?  You can substitute "training program" with almost anything here people have gone to war over, and it fits perfectly.  BTW, I have and still continue to be these camps depending on the program being discussed.  And the fact is, so are you.  It's just human nature, and it's fun.  heh.

I had a watermelon cosmopolitan last weekend.  Best drink I've had in a while.  In case you missed my article about beer and whiskey drinkers vs mixed drink guys, I will just sum up this salty morning by saying I don't give a fuck what guys say about my "girlie" drinks.  I drink shit that tastes good.  Not because my drink "makes me a man."  We've been over this.  OWNING IT, makes you a man.  There.  I plan on trying to grape Cosmo next time I'm in that place.  Awesome.

Ab work - over-fucking-rated.  If you are sprinting, doing boxing, and doing athletic shit your abs get worked.  You can't pull and squat 600+ with "weak" abs.  I still do some ab work, but it's mainly out of boredom.  It's a supportive muscle.  They just need to be able to contract and hold you upright.  If you're squatting they HAVE to contract. You don't need to invent some god damn ab exercises that "mimic" the squat or dead in order to have strong abs.  And in reality, shit like standing abs is no different than a freakin crunch on the floor.  If anything that damn ab roller is the hardest ab work you can do.  I have no idea how they sold those damn things to fat, sedentary fuckers who say at home on the couch eating potato chips.

You want to know what a great ab exercise is?  Fucking barbell curls.  They have to contract like a mother in order to keep the torso erect and allow you to curl.  I hate curling and ab work.  Shit.

Great ab work right here

  Hot babe of the week.............suelyn medeiros

Spring is right around the corner.  That means finally, hill sprints again, backyard sprinting, and all sorts of other awesome outdoor conditioning.  It also means shitty ass lawn mowing which I hate more than Michael Bisping.

I hope everyone has a great weekend.


  1. I agree on the eternal internet duality of bashing and nut-hugging. Interesting thing, was reading a discussion on a certain board where the methods of achieving "greatness" were discussed by 'serious lifters' who have yet to total Elite or achieve anything worth mentioning in the sport. I think you might have joined the discussion at some point.

    I have been religulously anti-straps in the past but I am thinking of using them on the partial-deadlift in the near future. I can easily rack pull anything I can deadlift off the floor, so I don't think the grip is a limiting issue, but have often felt the upper back scream under (heavy-ish) load and sometimes fail to lock my deadlifts out even at light weights for reps.

    Again, good stuff.

  2. Paul!

    I use straps to deadlift conventional, I'm now off to drink my ant-freeze in an AIDS tree :(

    Have a nice weekend fella.

  3. Yes Paul:

    Exactly. own what you like! For the love of GOD stop prefacing things that you know may be embarrasing to like by saying a total asshat statement like "its my guilty pleasure" such a cop out...

    On my current playlist using for the gym...strapping young lad, Anthrax, Sick of it All and oh yeah the Dixie Chics AND the Goo Goo Dolls....because I like it! and yes a cosmo is a tasty fucking drink!

    As usual awesome post bro.


  4. Steve - drop the straps on work on that grip! Have a good weekend too brother.

    Matty - I don't have guilty pleasures. I do things I love and enjoy life. Simple as that.

  5. I eat my snickers everyday infront of my dieting coworkers. Not to be an ass but because I am hungry and I need the calories.

  6. how much are you thinking of charging for the ebook?

  7. More than likely $10. that's for two e-books and programs actually. One centered around muscle mass and the other around powerlifting.

  8. We have a magazine rack in our master bath that has mags in it that are 5 years old. And I still yank them out and thumb through while I'm in there like I'm going to see something new. I've read my cereal box about a thousand times too.
    Good thing you keep posting stuff on your blog, Paul, or I'd eventually have it memorized.

  9. LOL it's amazing how interesting almost anything is when you're eating breakfast or sitting on the can. I mean you could read Home and Garden and feel fairly entertained sitting on the john.

  10. Paul I'm pretty sure you've said something bout this before, but what are your respected thoughts on a shit ton of milk(GOMAD more or less) plus 3 squares a day? Im going to be following the Big15 when you post it. Not trying to reinvent the wheel or anything but I'm not trying to get orca fat either.

  11. So long as you're not lactose intolerant it should be fine. I would just add it in slowly. That way you don't get orca fat.

    Nice Usual Suspects Reference.

  12. yes, bisping def deserves his place in that tree - always has, even before that shit with rivera.

  13. If Sonnen gets his wish and gets to fight Bisping, your dreams will come true b/c Bisping will get the absolute crap pounded out of him as he spends 3 rounds on his back eating elbows to the face.

  14. This is my wish. However Sonnen has that suspension hanging over his head.

  15. Ok as an update, I see that the 6 month suspension is officially over! Let the games begin!