Monday, July 9, 2012

Thoughts about life, crap, training, and stuff


My lats, traps, and low back are all still fried from the stiff legs from Saturday. I've written about this before but I'll say it again, from a mass perspective stiff legs are so much more superior than regular pulls because (the way I do them) involves a lot of tension in all of those areas. When I have pushed my stiff legs my dead seems to respond as well, but I go months without doing them for some reason. I'd like to hit 585x5+ on them (elevated) before I start meet prep in a few months.

I thought that UFC card sucked. In fact, the last few cards have blown for the most part. I know they have had to mix and match the cards a bit but right now, the UFC seems to have a somewhat shallow talent pool as it's the same guys over and over again. They need to start pushing some of the younger guys up into the main cards. There has to be a transition or the sport will grow stale, and people will become less interested.

Weight is still slowing coming and down, and I'm stabilized. Energy levels feel good, strength is evening out, and I can eat like this pretty much indefinitely. I will go over my diet down the line in another article. I need to up my conditioning a bit, and drop big training back to twice a week I think, with only maybe 1 small session. However the LRB template works so well I almost hesitate to do that.

I have got to get out to a movie. My movie watching is really in a slump. Need to pull out of it.

No Chaos and Bang Your Earballs last night. Jamie's girlfriend was in town and he was too busy banging it out. My guess is we'll do it tomorrow night more than likely.

I did end up cheating, or having a cheat meal Saturday night. I was going to try to go the whole summer without cheating but we had company for dinner and I haven't had a drink or a bite of anything that wasn't on my diet in 5 weeks. So I cheated. 7 pounds up yesterday. I feel like blllllarrrgghhh right now. Lifting tonight and then some steady state after.

Someone posted a link to an article about the direction of our society from a male standpoint and it pretty much paints the picture I've talked about on here many times. The dominance of the single mother home is a big part in emasculated males today. Coddled and babied, hen pecked males that have no idea how to throw a punch -- or take one -- and these "men" argue with me about what a troglodyte I am because I believe that "bullying", and dealing with it, fighting, is a normal part of growing up as a male. They get mad that I state that you shouldn't be bossed around and dictated to by your woman, and that the things they do aren't being submissive, it's just "making sure she knows I love her".

Jesus, if you really believe this, then give your fucking sack back. You don't need it anymore.

I've been with my wife for 18 total years, and by no means is she a "submissive" woman; however she understands that I am the leader in the home, even though we both view our relationship as a partnership. Let's get that straight here. A partnership does not always mean EQUAL. Just because someone is your partner does not mean they are your equal. I do not always equate not being equal as being lesser either, just different. If your home is threatened, you will be the one asked to step up to confront the threat. Not her. If a physical threat presents itself, you will be the one asked to deal with it. This is something I would do without hesitation, and I embrace it as my role. I am also the breadwinner in the home.

We have different roles. However, my role is NOT to be bossed up, owned up, and told to do things I don't want to do, in order to play submissive husband. I don't, and never will play that role, nor would she want that. I do the things that make my wife feel loved, because that is my job as well. However I do not do things that make her feel empowered over me, nor would she want that. There is a difference. There is a CLEAR difference. Any woman that wants to hen peck her man is simple trying to assert her authority over him to feel empowered in the relationship. When you allow that, you lose face and respect in her eyes whether she will admit that to you or not. This is a fact.

So our young males face two problems today. The first being raised in single mother homes, where they get hen pecked and are raised and taught to be submissive to women, because "that's how you respect her". Which is a total crock of shit by the way. The second is being raised in a two parent home where the father sets a piss poor example by being submissive to his wife, letting her rule the roost, and then raising the son(s) as pussies.

In either case, I don't blame women. Women are always going to push boundaries to see what they can get away with in terms of telling you what to do. This is in their nature.

It's the fault of men that are weak, spineless, pussy whipped mother fuckers. It is their fault for selling out for pussy, and for allowing a woman to become empowered in the relationship by constantly giving in to everything she wants. Selling out your manhood for a piece of ass, or anything else for that matter, is the most unmanly thing you can ever do as a male. There are plenty of men that are honorable men to their wife or significant other, without becoming human jellyfish.

I also partly blame the internet, for allowing beta males to voice their opinion far too god damn much on these issues. In the past, these marshmallowed fucks sat in the back and were silent. Exactly where beta males belong. In the rear with the gear. This is not a put down, mind you. There are chiefs and indians and like it or not, not everyone deserves to lead or have a voice. At least, that's how it's supposed to be. It's just that society has taught as of late, that we are all "winners", even when we don't win shit. The guy in last place, well, he can't be called a "loser".....because that's mean. And a civil society has no place for meanness anymore. However, from behind a computer the beta male can get all puffed up and spout off about what a neanderthal I am, and how backwards my thinking is. "Do you know what year it is?" I've had written to me.


Yeah, the year of the bitch apparently.

It's not awesome to be a "man" anymore. You know, a John Wayne or a Clint Eastwood, or an Audie Murphy. This is not "glamorous". It is not propped up as desirable because the role of the MAN in society has been significantly downplayed. Because war is evil and grotesque, men who can seduce women is unsavory, and kids that fist fight should go to jail.

This is where we are at as a society, because men have failed. Failed to either show some responsibility and aren't involved in their kids life, or you are in the home and have failed as a leader because you let your wife dictate to you. You don't think your son sees this and he knows it's wrong? Of course he does. I know because I hear it from their own mouths. The young dudes I talk to on a regular basis.

"My dad does whatever my mom tells him to." they tell me with a laugh. "He's a pussy".

Disgusting and weak, and it saddens me. This is the example that has been set for him, so it is what he will pattern himself after, and so the trend will continue.

I wrote in SLL, be something your loved ones respect and something your enemies fear. Failing in this regard, means you have failed in some very basic principles as a man.

Yes that was a big rant for a Monday. I feel better now.


74 comments:

  1. good post i completely agree, movie wise ted was pretty funny and new, and spider man was awesome i recommend it better than the last 3, ill let u know how savages is man!!!

    -steve

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  2. Honest question - if male dominance in a relationship is so important to you, why are you teaching your daughter to lift and be a badass? I hope that doesn't sound like a cheap shot. It's not meant to be.

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    1. I never used the word dominance. I said being a leader. There is a difference.

      And I have my daughters lift, and learn to fight because I want them to be able to defend themselves and have good self confidence. My wife has both as well.

      Delete
    2. To add to what Paul's saying, the impression I've gotten is that a man shouldn't be a leader or dominate in a relationship because of the other person's complete lack of self, confidence and ability to do so. Rather, he should do so because he earned that.

      It's like the example of the woman just walking all over the man in a relationship. It turns into a 1-way relationship that has absolutely not meaning or worth, regardless of which way it goes. It should be 2 confident, able and whole people in a relationship. Which is why him teaching his daughter to lift and be a badass is important: It's setting her up to be a whole person, rather than someone for some dickbag to walk all over in a non-relationship.

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  3. Well said, as always. I only wish I'd have read your stuff before my own marriage failed. I was quite the pussy. :(

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  4. Loved the book and I devour these posts brother. Keep the Truth Hose on!

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  5. Just letting you know that I really appreciate all your posts regarding this subject.

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  6. Completely hear what you're saying Paul. You speak out about the rights and duties of a man and you're criticised for being a 'neanderthal', 'misogynist' when in actual fact, you're just lamenting the sorry state of modern man when compared to past generations. The modern man has apparently less testosterone than men from 25-50 years ago. Perhaps this explains the influx of effeminate men.

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  7. Don't stop talking about this stuff. It needs to be said.

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  8. Love reading this stuff Paul. As a 24 year old who was raised by a non-pussy Dad it's incredible how much shit I get for being a male and voicing my opinion on... anything. Defending anything you believe in whether physically or verbally is looked so far down upon. Shit is frustrating.

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  9. Completely agree.It seems more and more to be the norm for this generation that children are raised by a single mother.The difference is stagerring between my dads generation and this one with the amount of single mothers around.In his day it was something to be frowned upon.Nowadays it seems to be celebrated.I've been in relationships with a few single mothers which did'nt work out.The main reason was that they could'nt except me disciplining their children in any way.They wanted me to support them financialy but didnt want me to have any authority towards their child even if the kid was blatently being a little shit.Not to put all the blame on the single mothers the fathers of these children are just as bad.The amount of "men" who father children and don't give a shit is incredible now.No wonder theres so many pussies around these days.

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  10. Be a fucking man. It used to be simple.

    Standing up to bullies is a part of life. Learn to deal with it. Don't be a pussy and whine about it. Fuck!

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  11. Fuck yeah!

    I brought this shit up in my ethics class I took a while ago...the whole "we are not equal, and it's better for everyone that way, get over it feminists." The class was mostly women, and I got some angry looks. Hahaha.

    Then in English we read "The Short Happy Life of Francis Macomber" by Hemingway. If you haven't read that short story, check it out. It's right in line with this stuff; about a spineless man-child doing some big game hunting and finally becoming a man.

    Anyway, this got me pumped I'm gonna go thrash shit in the gym.

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  12. One thing I've noticed is that the betas who read this will always misinterpret and misquote it, saying stuff like "dominating", and "sexist", or whatever when the reality is that this message isn't directed towards women, nor is it putting any blame on them. Its about us as men deciding to have self respect and integrity, so that others in our life (both men and women) will also respect us.
    It annoys me that a simple attempt at encouraging self-respect gets blamed as an attack against women. Has it really become that taboo in our society for a man to simply not allow himself to be treated like shit?

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    1. Rule #1 - Respect yourself.

      When a woman does this, it's her being independent. When a man does it, it's misogynistic.

      Delete
    2. People with poor comprehension skills have a difficult time reading closely whenever a word like "equal" is used. Whenever one says two people aren't equal, those looking to be offended ignore all context and immediately assume they are saying one is lesser in all respects than the other.

      The truth is clear that in Paul's writing that he simply sees a clear distinction between his role and his wife's role in the household.

      Delete
  13. Well I even get to read from people that "I get tired of reading about this be-a-man shit". Well if we hadn't spiraled into a mass of ultra feminism and emasculated males over the last decade, I wouldn't be writing about it. I have a dog in this fight. I want my girls to marry a MAN. One I know can defend them, and take care of them, protect them.

    I also think that guys that get offended by this are the beta males I write about.

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    1. Damn right. I'm the father to 2 daughters myself. My wife and I are raising them to be strong, independent women. (They both lift weights, play sports and have never made less than an A in school) We believe that this will lend itself to them choosing a strong man as a partner, not to be domineering over some puss-ass beta male. My lifting partners and I RAGE against the pussification of America. We are constantly asking ourselves when did real men become villafied? When did it become more acceptable to lay down and take it than it is to stand up and be a fucking man? I'll be damned if I'll accept it and will continue to step on in order to help out these douchebag betas. Keep this shit coming!

      Wade M.

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  14. haha truth...

    reminds me of this essay i read recently.
    http://www.jademyst.com/essays/11.html

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  15. Hear, hear! Are you not entertained!? ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED!?

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  16. True words there. Paul bought your training book definately a good resource! Im looking at pouring some time into the intermediate upper/lower split but theres alot of leg press in there which i aint got access to, any ideas for replacement?

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  17. Though I agree with you mostly on this emasculation thing I have to say this comment irked me:
    "Because war is evil and grotesque..."
    I can read the sarcasm and I think you are wrong. War really _is_ evil and grotesque. Families, homes and entire societies are shattered in war. There is nothing heroic or admirable about that. Of course heroic deeds can be done by single soldiers but nevertheless war in itself is horrible and should not be glorified. ...though fist fights can teach useful things about life when one is young.
    (sorry for the weird language, I'm not native speaker)

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    1. War has been shown to be an inevitable part of our world. Sure horrible things happen in war, but horrible things will happen in Baltimore tonight. More than anything I think what I'm getting at is, it used to be seen as an honorable thing to join the military and fight for your country.

      To ones such as the Spartans or Samurai, the greatest gift one could have would be to die in combat. Now we can't even name war heros because such would be seen as propping up war as a "good thing". It's possible to separate the horror of war from the heroic deeds done in said war, or wars. But most don't do that anymore.

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    2. Precisely. Just because war is inevitable, doesn't mean we have to wallow in it or revel in it. There is glory in war, yes. There is evil and grotesquery in it as well. You don't have to raise up one and ignore the other.

      I actually have a high respect for soldiers. They put their lives on the line, make themselves slaves to the government, so that guys like me can sleep soundly at night. They do shit so I don't have to. They made a choice to serve something bigger than themselves. I have even, on occasion, thought about joining myself, because I too want to serve a greater purpose, something bigger than myself. I do not, in contrast, respect private military contractors. I don't care what those guys say, they're mercenaries. I won't begrudge them for wanting to make a lot of money... but they had a choice between money and honor, and they chose money. I also admire the great heroes of past wars. One of my favorite stories is that of Charles E. Kelly, who was a regular real life Rambo.

      What my problem is, is that as I see it, there has been precious little honor in war lately. That is not to say that the men and women who serve in our military have not been honorable people. But the wars we have fought, increasingly over the last several decades, have no meaning in them. Where was the honor in Vietnam, or in the ill-considered invasion of Grenada? In Afghanistan, or Iraq? What's the point of all of these? There wasn't one, not that I can see. It doesn't diminish the sacrifice of the people who fought and died in them, but it does diminish us a nation that we went ahead and sent good men out to fight and die for no discernible good reason at all. It's hard to be heroic when you see evidence around you constantly that you are not doing good.

      Really then, I suppose my actual problem is with the asshole politicians who use our military rather thoughtlessly as a stick. This makes sense. I've gotten to the point of being thoroughly disgusted by politics. I am forced to choose in most cases between the party of incompetence and the party of insanity.

      Getting back to the original point, the culture is fucked up. I don't know what the solution is, whatever it is, it's not exactly what we are doing right now.

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  18. Awesome rant man! You say your weight is still coming down so why change anything? don't pull a Wendler

    Tom

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    1. Don't plan on it. My goal has been for some time, to be a very lean 240. I mean lower digit bodyfat 240.

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  19. Paul,

    First, amazing post today regarding the state of male in society. A lot of this hit home with me and the people around me.

    Second, I'm interested in transferring to the new big-15 (I've been doing the original big-15 for about 4 months now), but I'm having a hard time wrapping my head around the benefit of doing things like curls for 5 sets of 20. With that volume and rep scheme I'd be using ~20lb dumbbells for 5 sets of 20. Is that really going to spark some new growth? I know it burns like fucking hell and causes an insane pump, but the overall intensity (% of 1RM) seems quite low to really spark continuous growth and allow for progressive overload in such a high rep range. What's your reasoning behind these types of sets and your choice for such high reps/sets?

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    1. I explained it in the book. Trust me, just do em.

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  20. Stiff-Legs superior then romanian deads for mass??

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    1. Pretty much the same movement for the most part. They really are.

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  21. Paul, I found this site about a week ago through Wendler's and I gotta say I have literally been on it everyday since. This shit is absolute gold and I know a few people that should read this right now (especially the beta-males on the internet part). As a 20 year old male I am very thankful that I had a father who taught me well and was by no means a pussy, I still got a lot to learn but between him and this site I would say I'm on the right track. Keep writing brother!

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  22. While I agree with most of the points made here, there are some I disagree with. Honor has disappeared from modern warfare, which is waged long-distance and involves the targeting of civilians in order to terrorize them into submission (and the subsequent attempts to disguise large-scale terrorism as "collateral damage"). Spartans and the samurai did not bomb civilians and mass-murder women and children.

    There are no heroes in today's wars, especially ones fought far from home. Unless your home country is being invaded, there's no way you can go to war with honor.

    I also can't see how shooting large game with a rifle can be seen as "manly" and not cowardice. Take a knife or a spear and go hunt wild boar if you want to be a "manly" hunter.

    The pussification happened because "manly" became synonimous with "moron", and with good reason. Thankfully the anonimity of the Web allows everyone to be a manly weight-lifting, beta-bashing, swaggering alpha, myself included. To combat pussification we need to get rid of the stigma of "moron" first. Once this is achieved, pussified males will regain their balls and repent their un-manly ways. Metrosexuals will find themselves on the garbage heap of history, where they belong.

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    1. This post is full of fail. But to each his own.

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    2. What branch do you serve in Fatman? The Samaurai and Spartans committed genocide on a regular basis you idiot. Failure to submit to a Spartan invasion generally meant your entire populace would be slaughtered or enslaved.

      If you've never gone to war, and live outside of a warrior culture, how dare you say what honor exists in it or not? I know Marines who have taken bullets for the non-combatants you claim are at such a long distance. Come meet some of my brethren who have killed their opponents with their bare hands and tell them they waged war at a long-distance while they beat the life out of their enemy. Or sit at home at your computer on the internet and talk about your little perceived reality when you haven't set foot in a firefight.

      You're spitting BS pacifistic rhetoric about something you do not understand because the most you know about it is what you see on the news, and the things that really happen are kept inside the brotherhood where they belong, amongst men who have earned that title. I don't glorify war. It's not pleasant. But the very concept of sacrificing for anything other than 'yourself' or 'your home', which are blatantly selfish causes, is the nature of honor which you seem to claim does not exist in war today.

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    3. Pretty much what I wrote but I erased it because I felt it wasn't even worth it.

      Thanks Citadel. And thanks for your HONORABLE service to this great nation.

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    4. At the risk of piling on and beating a dead horse, it ought to be noted that, while the Spartans made many contributions in the war against the Persians, the Athenians, the "boy-fucking philosophers," weren't sitting down like a bunch of Miss Nancies either. It was ultimately the Athenians who were responsible for defeating the Persian navy at the Battle of Salamis, which forced Xerxes to break off the invasion and retreat with most of his force. It should also be noted that it was the Athenians who fought and defeated the Persians at Marathon, because they had had enough of tyranny and foreign rule, and wanted to be free.

      Citadel... I think I get something of what you're saying. I've never been in a war, and God willing, I never will be. I'd like to think I'd fight if I thought the situation called for it, and as it is I've thought about joining, because service to a cause greater than myself appeals to me. It doesn't seem right to me, that Indians, blacks, Hispanics, and poor people go out to fight this country's wars, while I, who have enjoyed so many benefits that this society has to offer, sit back and do not serve. And yet I have never joined. I have not joined because I am afraid that serving would eventually turn me into a killer, a loose cannon, and that when I came back home from my service, I would not be able to adjust. Also, I have no particular desire to fight on the whims of some goddamn politician. There ought to be a damn good reason to go to war, and as far as I can see, in most of the wars we've been involved in for the last several decades, that good reason has been absent. Most of the last couple have either been about power or money, from my perspective.

      None of this should be construed to take away from the service of men such as yourself. I cannot even imagine the hardships you and your brothers have gone through. All of you, with a very few exceptions, have served your country with honor and distinction. You didn't ask to invade Iraq, or Afghanistan, or whatever obscure shithole it'll be the next time, but you went anyway, and will continue going so long as you serve this country. As recent events have proven, you will serve this country until you break. No, it is this country's leaders that have failed, and we its citizens, for electing war-drunk, power-hungry, profiteering fools who use the might of the US Armed Forces so casually.

      Delete
  23. Hey Paul, just read your post this morning and it's fucking awesome as usual. Being still young I'm glad I can receive information like this.
    Stumbled upon this video after reading this that resonates well with what you have written. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JmUNp1d8FBw&feature=share

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  24. It’s so refreshing to see a male figure like you out there for other guys.

    From a female perspective, you are 100% right on. The thing is, I don’t think a lot of women [of our day and age] REALIZE that’s exactly what they want/need deep down on a CONSCIOUS level- at least not until they find it. Then it clicks. Like you said, it’s in our nature to see what we can get away with, or take charge, etc. So, we’ll end up in these relationships and that’s exactly what we end up getting [our way, all the time]… but then, a strange thing happens, our attraction comes to a screeching halt, and so begins the slow death of the relationship.

    What’s frustrating is there is a lot of PUA stuff out there now that tries to teach this, but a lot of men get it all wrong. This is NOT about being “an asshole” it’s about BEING A MAN, there’s a HUGE difference. Which you understand very well from what you say. You’re right on with it all. I wish there were more men speaking about it from your perspective rather than strictly a PUA perspective that turns a lot of beta males into just chauvinist assholes which is so misguided and missing the whole point.

    You understand the two-way street: you don’t let your wife take your man card/she doesn't try to, and in return, you love her, cherish her, protect her and do all the things that make her feel loved. THAT’S what being a REAL man is about. And in turn, she “submits” so to speak [I hate that word, because people take it so wrong, but whatever], and lets you be the man of the family and loves, takes care of and cherishes you. It’s a symbiotic relationship. Both parties are getting what they actually need and benefit.

    It’s funny, I look back on relationships that have failed, and how the attraction dwindled for me, etc. – it was always the relationships where the guy became a wet noodle. At the time, I didn’t know what was happening or why it happened. But then I realized what it was that was causing this. And then I met my now fianc√©. He is the most wonderful man in the world: He loves me, protects me, honors me, etc. All the things he should do as a strong man. HOWEVER, he’s the first guy that really put me in my place. He made it clear from the beginning there were a number of things if I tried to pull with him… well, there’s the door. And he wasn’t kidding either. There’s no bossing him around, no pulling crap with him, none of that. Sure, I am female after all [lol] so there’s times where maybe I will be feeling bossy, or it comes out that way not even realizing it: but he won’t have any of that for a second. I respect him more than any man [besides my father, of course] I’ve ever met.

    Anyways, thanks, I hope men listen to you on this issue; it’ll help the ladies out as well to find some more real men out there if guys actually start listening.

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    1. Men, or aspiring men, should read your post and grok it.

      And thanks for your comments. I appreciate it.

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    2. This is the best comment I've ever read on here, and I read them all.

      Drewski

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    3. Paul, I'm going to give an honest self-assessment: I think I've mostly failed at this in my past. It's hard to think about.

      Not only do I get the point you're making, I understand why it's important and I've seen it play out in real life. I know where I need to get.

      What I can't seem to figure out is how to develop it. It's just not my nature (or my upbringing, or whatever it is that led me to be the person I am ) to be as dominant and take-no-crap as I know I need to be. I constantly feel myself slipping into old habits.

      Do you have any advice? I don't just want to pay lip service to the idea anymore, but I am struggling with the follow-through.

      Thanks,

      Jeff

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    4. Jeff,

      I have been working with a friend on this, as he came from a single parent home (raised by his mom), was constantly owned up in relationships, and generally was just passive in every facet of his life.

      I don't know that there is a secret or trick, to turning those things around. I really don't. I know that it requires a lot of introspection and being self aware about things, and then consciously trying to make changes, and then trying to make those changes habits.

      As I wrote in SLL and here, it all starts with respecting yourself. That ultimately means, you have to believe you are worth something as well. Most guys, and gals, that have a repeated behavior of getting into bad relationships over and over, believe that they are unworthy of a good relationship. In other words again, a lack of self respect.

      This is an area I want to get better at with coaching and helping others, as I really believe as you wrote that most guys that struggle with this are aware of it, but don't know how to overcome falling back into those old habits.

      I'm happy to say that my buddy I have been helping with this, is really starting to overcome some of these things and his actions have spoken as much. So my point is, you can turn the corner on these things, but you have to kind of learn to go against the things that have felt comfortable to you in the past, and believe you are worth having something good in your life.

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    5. Thanks Paul, that means a lot. Your point about not feeling deserving of good things (including a good relationship) in ones life seems to hit the nail on the head for me. Glad to hear your friend has made progress. Something to strive for.

      Jeff

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  25. Paul,

    would you care to explain/elaborate what it means to "respect oneself?"

    i'm afraid i can't quite grok that.

    thanks,
    Peter

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    1. Believing that you matter in the scope of your own existence.

      Living your life by a code that you are uncompromising on.

      So that at the end of each day, you are without regret or debt, and you haven't sacrificed the things you believe in, in order to to appease someone else.

      Delete
  26. I'm ready to start Project Mayhem.

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  27. Looks like the East had it right all along, lol.

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  28. Paul,

    I highly, highly recommend you and Jaime check out the foreign film "The Raid: Redemption" from 2011. Badass action flick with a shit load of equally badass fight scenes and violence. You can find the full thing in HD with subtitles on torrent.

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  29. Another excellent post. I've had this same subconscious idea floating around the back of my mind and you've just crystallized it. Thanks and keep it up!

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  30. Well, I can honestly say I've been struggling with this all afternoon and into the evening. I don't want to be a passive, passive-aggressive schmuck that gets walked on constantly by everyone around him, be it his boss or his girl. I don't want to be some loser who wanders aimlessly through life with no passion. It's the getting there that's problematic.

    I have goals and aspirations enough. Now I have to follow through with them, and carry them out. I'm in a bit of an odd situation. I was practically raised almost entirely by my mom. My dad was out of the picture, not because they were divorced, but because he simply was never around, and showed very little interest in me until I was about thirteen or so. Why he did this, I can't begin to guess, but the upshot is that there weren't really any male role models around. About the only way in which he did serve as a role model was in working hard and providing for his family, although I did not follow his example and feel that he took it much too far.

    I grew up pretty clueless about living. It wasn't until college that I began to do things for myself, and not because someone told me to do them. Oh, I was such a good little boy, always doing what I was told, but I never learned the meaning behind it, not until I was out of my parents' house. And now, here I am like a chump, living in my parents' house because no one taught me how to find a job and no one tried to tell me the hard facts of life when I was younger. Still, I cannot blame other people for all of my situation. I am taking steps to rectify it, but in the meantime I'm stuck in a shitty situation. It is painful being dependent on them, and I sometimes fear I am regressing, going back to the person I was before I lived on my own in college. It is incredibly awkward living in this way, and I honestly don't know how to deal with it. I often find myself feeling angry at my parents for what I see as their interference and meddling. Yet at the same time, I must be grateful to them; after all, they are letting me live here rent free. Like it or not, I am clearly in the subordinate position... which is precisely where I don't want to be.

    That being said, an obvious solution immediately presents itself, although it is by no means at all easy. Yet nothing worth doing was ever easy. In the mean time, I must clean up my life, straighten myself out, and start being a man... though I am still working out what that is.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A lot of the same background that I've dealt with with my friend.

      This is why it's so important to develop a code, and the subjects that go in with it, and learn how to stick to it and not deviate from it, no matter how uncomfortable shit may become.

      Delete
    2. Thanks for the reply. It's a hard road to walk, but I must walk it. I will think on this, and work on it. I think I'll spend a day this weekend figuring out a code for myself. I expect I need one, perhaps more even than I think.

      Delete
  31. Excellent post. I don't think it's JUST single moms or pussy dads. There's a lot of institutional pressure as well. In school, especially higher ed, the attitude that masculinity is a disease that needs curing is prevalent. That's a broad generalization, of course, but it exists. Especially in so-called "judgement free" or "tolerant" corners of campus.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I don't think the pussification thing is solely a male problem anymore. Our society is filled with passive-aggressive wankers that do nothing but bitch. My least favorite comment of all time has quickly become: "it's not my job/fault". FUCK YOU, is my response. Who fucking cares. If something needs to be done and you're there; take responsibility. You'll not only respect yourself more, others will respect you more.

      Anti-pussification is something my wife and I have both gained through weight training during the last few years. ME squats teach you a lot about what you're truly made of.

      Delete
  32. ok let me just say this and i know i say this a lot but this was seriously one of the best thing iv read in this blog and that says something.
    and i have a complant or critizm if you will ,guys like you and wendler (i know jamie doesnt give fuck)dont write enough about what being a man is realy means ,i mean i learnd more in this article than i have learnt in the last year or so and im fucking 20 years old .
    "...When you allow that, you lose face and respect in her eyes..." i needed someone to tell me this and "It's not awesome to be a "man" anymore" i mean i fucking couldn agree more.
    so im begging you on behalf of every young man out there to keep writing and keep teaching us as much as you can.
    thank you sir and a truly great article
    -siavash

    ReplyDelete
  33. I think something missing from this whole piece is the fact that the male sex hormone is constantly threatened by our current enviorment. Male testosterone and sperm counts are lower because males from young ages are constantly exposed to xenoestrogens. Sure it has a lot to do with culture as a whole wanting to remove agressive behavior. But its more complex than that. From things we wash our hands and hair with, to how we store out food, to what we drink out of we are CONSTANTLY exposed to xenoestrogens. Which can quite literally turn a male into an inbetween of a female and male (leaning more on the female side).

    Add on to less sun exposure, less quality sleep, staying up late, other generally retarded but the norm when compared to the majority of people health problems. And you have a cocktail for a big BIG BIG problem.

    ReplyDelete
  34. Some antipussification suggestions:

    Work out hard - well most here already do that

    Dont wack off, don't watch porn

    Join the military


    Perform public speaking

    ReplyDelete
  35. Paul,

    Quick question what do you think of this upper/lower body split because can only get to the gym twice per week with bodyweight and conditioning work done 2-3 per week at home with the kids.

    WO1: Upper
    Incline Press
    Rows
    PBN
    Pull-Up/Downs
    PJR Pullovers
    DB Curls(dealing with elbow issue and since reading your new ebook decided these are better for that then hammer curls)

    WO2: Lower Body
    Squat or Deadlift
    Paused Squat
    SLDL
    Single Leg DB Calf Raise

    Thinking of mainly running the big-15 on upper body day and on lower body I was going to run the strong-15 so I can squat or dead heavy every other week and use a rep range of 12-20 on the paused squat, SLDL, and calf raise to finish off.

    Is this alright or is there recommendation that you would make to make it better?

    ReplyDelete
  36. Paul-

    I have a question about squats. I was wondering what variation of the squat you thought was the hardest? I was doing pause squats the other day, for 3-5 counts and a trainer asked me why I was doing and looked confused.

    Thank you

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. For me it's the pause squat and the front squat.

      Delete
  37. Speaking of "Real Men", thought you might get a kick out of this guy: http://www.gq.com/news-politics/mens-lives/199802/elizabeth-gilbert-gq-february-1998-last-american-man-eustace-conway-turtle-island

    ReplyDelete
  38. So who does the dishes?

    ReplyDelete
  39. So I told my gf that I didnt like how her body looked and after all her crying she ended up running for an hour and a half today.

    But shes super pissed about everything and I thought she was gonna stab me while I was showering. Its gonna pass. I think...

    Anyways thanks paul haha

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I said it works. Jamie is just mad because he was wrong!

      Delete
    2. Haha if i end up on the news for being stabbed, i'm just going to repeat "Paul this wasnt a good idea.." over and over to the reporters

      Delete
  40. Fantastic post. Paul: you mention living one's life by a "code." I truly believe that to be successful in any endeavor in life, one must have an internal set of beliefs, goals, values, and creeds that he does not deviate from, no matter what life throws at him. The world can be falling down around that man, but so long as he holds firm to the convictions of his code, that man stands resolute.

    Keep preaching brother - we're listening.

    ReplyDelete
  41. hah, posting and talking about that article you linked, everyone a harlot, made my female cousin flip out and delete me on FB.. lol.

    ReplyDelete
  42. I love your lifting related posts, but all this "Be a man thing", well...
    Why do you think its that important to know how to fight?. I mean, if you are smart, know how to de-escalate things and don't take stupid shit seriously, why would it be so important.
    And bullying... Call me a nancy boy but fuck I think it's wrong. Some kids have the tools to stand up and fight, for others it's hell.
    I always tend to be dominant when in a group, I think I'm pretty far from being a pussy for most of the time, and I still don't get this be a "manly man" thing.
    Regarding the war thing. War is fucking nasty. The whole "honor code" thing goes to SHIT in war, IN EVERY FUCKING WAR. That romantic idea of war needs to die, really.
    I read an abbreviated versión of the Lliad a while ago, and in the afterword, Italo Baricco writed, "War is hell, but its a beautifull one".
    War as an essay (MMA, Powerlifting, Boxing) it's great. War as in combat, not worth it.

    Excuse my english, it's not my first lenguage.

    -Lucas M

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You don't think it's important that a man know how to defend himself, or his loved ones?

      I never said bullying was "right". I said it's a part of growing up. And part of growing up is learning how to deal with these things.

      Being "smart" doesn't always mean you can de-escalate a situation. Sometimes shit is just going to go down. If you don't know and understand that, then my guess is you are a lot younger than I am.

      I brought up war heroes because our country has lost its way in terms of holding up people who do fight in wars with honor and dignity. War is inevitable, and yes war is ugly. However proving oneself to be able to fight in a war, and do so with honor, is something that should be held with the highest regard. That's the point.

      Delete